29 Men Describe The Difference Between Real And Fake Breasts

1. “Fake ones feel like crap. Like those palm size dodgeball balls.”

— JoshSD, forum.bodybuilding.com

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2. “What’s the point of making yourself look like some human blow-up doll? I just don’t get it. Then again I don’t get things like fake tans, either.”

— Anti flash, experienceproject.com

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3. “REAL! Small boobs tend to have much more graceful shapes. Also, if you ever have kids, breast-feeding is supposedly more difficult with implants. Please, please, please, don’t get implants. Plus when I see a girl with implants I think they’re vain and superficial. Love the boobies God gave ya!”

—darkCzar, bluelight.org

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4. “Oh please get a grip, breast augmentation is a clear sign of mental disease. But us men shouldn’t judge? Well I’m afraid I do judge, it’s the only sensible way to be when selecting a partner. Would you think I was a perfectly normal individual who shouldn’t be judged if I decided Pinocchio looked hot and got a 1 foot extension to my nose? Or would you judge that I had some serious underlying issue which would make me an undesirable catch?”

— JB, bluelight.org

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5. “Come on, silicone liquid water balloons in your breast that could pop in an accident and cause infection. why would women do such things?… no I hate fake boobs. they look like chest grenades.”

—Sonny, sodahead.com

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6. “Some fake boobs look amazing and some look like two beach balls spread apart, I like real but I would rather have big fake boobs than small real boobs.”

—ruskiy, datehookup.com

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7. “I’m in a tiny minority here, but I have a raging lactation fetish. We could spend all day delving into why I have this fetish, but that would be pointless since it’s not going away anytime soon. I don’t care about what breasts look like so long as they perform the function that nature intended—meaning, they produce milk. Breast augmentation can compromise or even prevent lactation. And to a committed dairy drinker such as myself, that’s the real difference between real and fake tits.”

—Scott, 31

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8. “ Any man who’s ever been that close to a woman knows that small boobies feel like boobies, and fake boobs feel like volleyballs.”

— Bobbie Kaye, au.answers.yahoo.com

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9. “I love fake tits. I’ll suck them until the implants dry up.”

—bottle_cap, forum.bodybuilding.com

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10. “Real tits: feel your stomach. Fake tits: put your tongue to the inside of your cheek and feel your cheek.”

—TheBlackHombre, forum.bodybuilding.com

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11. “The problem with real ones is that over the years they sag—like the world’s slowest frown. Yes, that’s the “natural” look, but nature isn’t always pretty. I don’t care how fake they look—they could be as artificial-looking as torpedo tips—but I want them to be facing me rather than staring sullenly at the ground.”

—Preston, 24

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12. “ implants feel like firm/full natural tits. the biggest and most noticeable difference is that fake tits don’t bounce like real ones when you are ****ing her.”

—jafomofo, forum.bodybuilding.com

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13. “I love them! The nonverbal communication is a huge part of it. Fake boobs say, ‘I objectify myself, therefore I have no problem with you doing the same.’ They read as: “This chick is easy.”

—H. from Los Angeles, bettyconfidential.com

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14. “Don’t, don’t, don’t. I don’t care if you were blessed with ‘mosquito bites,’ there’s someone out there who will appreciate them.”

—J. from Atlanta, bettyconfidential.com

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15. “I’m a don’t. A woman’s propensity toward breast implants is inversely proportionate to her sense of independence.”

—M. from New York, bettyconfidential.com

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16. “You’re asking a man who hasn’t had a real-live tit—natural or fake—in my face for seven years now. You’re lucky you asked me this via email, or I would have punched you. So there’s no difference to me—the difference between zero and zero is still zero.”

—Clive, 28

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17. “Bewbies are like pizza. No matter what is wrong or done to them, they’re still pretty much awesome. (no man boob)”

—slimmjimm, serato.com

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18. “Buying a girl implants is like throwin’ rims and screens in your car when you live in apartments, sure you look like the man and get attention, but all you’re doing is dramatically increasing the odds of your shit getting broken into and stolen.”

—Dj-M.Bezzle, serato.com

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19. “The only fake pair I’ve ever squeezed had the consistency of hardened gelatin. Real breasts have some give-and-play to them, some ‘squish.’ Plus, I’ve never liked Jell-O. I’ll pass on the falsies. No thanks.”

—Geoff, 22

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20. “I think if I discovered someone I was interested in had fake boobs it would probably be a deal-breaker. I feel that getting fake boobs is the equivalent to mutilating your body in order to conform with social norms that reduce women to sexual objects. I’m into human beings, not bags of plastic. It’s a level of superficiality and insecurity that I can’t accept in a person.”

—satricion, bluelight.org

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21. “Oscar Pistorius may be a murderer, but he ran just fine with two artificial legs. In fact, he probably ran even better. Enough said.”

—Dante, 21

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22. “I’ve only been with one girl who had fake bazooms. She was tiny—maybe five feet tall and about 90 pounds. And then she had these rock-hard melons spot-welded onto her. They didn’t have that natural teardrop dip that real boobs have. I didn’t like them.”

—Lorenzo (cough!), 22

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23. “Call me neurotic, but whenever I see a pair of obviously augmented breasts, I get paranoid that she’s a terrorist and that her ta-tas are wired to explode at any second. I feel much safer around real ones.”

—Cliff, 26

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24. “Bad boob jobs are a turn off in real life and porn. Convincing smaller boob jobs look great. But we still feel cheated when we get them home. When will women learn that big boobs are not the solution? Guys desire tight bodies above all else!”

—stevesoho79, answerology.com

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25. “Real breasts move differently than “bolt-ons.” But real isn’t just about the look, it’s also about the feel. The ones I’ve felt, were unnaturally firm and the women wanted them mashed and grabbed, like they couldn’t feel them unless you were rough. Bit of a turn off. Not to mention that beautiful pink scar… /sarc. And implants on a “mature” woman can look like so wrong. From half a cantaloupe stretching out her skin, to two tennis balls in a sweat sock taped to her chest, it can go either way.”

—A Career Man, answerology.com

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26. “They look hideous when the woman is naked. If you look at any porn with fake breast they look terrible as they flap about with the implants quite obviously separate to the natural tissue. I personally don’t like large breasts as they generally go very saggy. I would take smaller perky breasts any day of the week.”

—manor sessions, live4.com.au

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27. “Bigger is not better when they are fake. I hate them, my wife got them done years ago and now they have leaked and caused scar tissue all around the boob area and are rock-hard. I won’t play with them anymore for that reason. How much I long for the feel of a beautiful soft boob on her body because when I handle round river rocks in the garden is the same feeling, it makes me very sad.”

—nyro, live4.com.au

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28. “I hate fake boobs! I won’t date a girl who has fake boobs, no matter how hot she is. I’ve fucked girls with fake boobs before but they were horrible. They feel horrible, I don’t care how “natural” they say they feel. They’re not natural feeling at all. And most boob jobs look bad, there’s a 1% of boob jobs that look okay but they are still fake.”

—Todd, naughtylifestyleguideblog.com

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29. “I despise fake breasts to the point of thinking they should be illegal…Women who get them are wacky. They have a higher suicide rate….They’ve made stripping into an unintentionally comic sci-fi farce, when it was once something actually sexy….In the way Auto-Tune changed who we consider good singers, fake breasts changed men’s ideas about what actually looks good. Now what’s fake is beating what’s real, which is a low point for humans.”

—Days of Broken Arrows, rooshvforum.com TC mark

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