Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.
If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
Are you wearing space pants? Because your butt is out of this world.
If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.
What do you like for breakfast?
Is your name Homework? ‘Cause I’m not doing you, but I should be!
Did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
I’m trying to rearrange the alphabet so that U and I are together.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to mount.
Did you just fart? ‘Cause you’re blowing me away.
Are you a tamale? ‘Cause you’re hot.
Are you a parking ticket? You’ve got “fine” written all over you.
Have you ever had your belly button licked from the inside?
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? ‘Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are as hot as hell.
Was your Dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
Life without you would be like a broken pencil…pointless.
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies.
If we had a garden, I’d put my tulips and your tulips together.
Hey, I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist, right?
Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.
So do you believe in love at first sight, or do you want me to walk by again?
Do you have a map? ‘Cause I just got lost in your eyes.
Are you a terrorist? coz’ you’re da bomb!
I must be a snowflake, ’cause I’ve fallen for you!
Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
Somebody better call God, because he is missing an angel.
Are you a library book? Because I’d like to check you out.
I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
My doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.
Is your last name Whitman, because I want to sample you.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
Was your dad a boxer? ‘Cause you’re a knockout!
Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print!
On a scale of 1-10, you’re a 9 and I’m the only 1 you need.
Something’s wrong with my cell phone…your number’s not in it.
Are you a camera? Because you make me smile.
Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!
I am not a photographer, but I can picture us together.
Eh, girl, you shit with that ass?
That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I scraped my knee falling for you.
If you were a potato, you’d be a really nice potato.
If I would flip a coin right now, what are my chances of getting head?
Do you live on a chicken farm, because you sure know how to raise a cock.
You’re about to get arrested, because you just stole my heart.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause DAM!
You must be Cinderella because I see that dress disappearing by midnight.
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
If you were stranded on a desert island, I would eat you last.
The voices in my head told me to come say hello to you.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I can totally see myself in your pants.
Do I know you? Cause you look like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.
I wish you were my toe, ’cause I would bang you on my coffee table .
Nice legs. What time do they open?
Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.
I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
Girl, if I was a fly, I’d be all over you, ’cause you’re the shit!
Hey, girl, you like jalapeños? ‘Cause I’m gonna be jalapeño ass.
Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!
You so fine I’d suck your dad’s dick to get a taste of the recipe.
Are you an antiquer? Cause I have some junk that hasn’t been touched in years.
You turn my software into hardware.
If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.
You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
You can call me “The Fireman”….mainly because I turn the hoes on!