15 People On What Their Parents Told Them About Sex

Flickr, Leo Hidalgo
Flickr, Leo Hidalgo

1. “Mummys and Daddys fit together.”

When I was about 4, I was presented with Babette Cole’s books “Mummy Laid an Egg” and “Hair in Funny Places” which basically explain reproduction and puberty for kids.

That was my SexEd. I remember getting in trouble aged 7 for telling my classmates that storks don’t bring babies, babies happen when “Mummys and Daddys fit together.”

2. “Keep it in your pants….Keep your pants on.”

My dad’s speech to my brothers: Keep it in your pants.

My dad’s speech to me: Keep your pants on.

That was all we got.

3. “You have sex, you get an STD, you DIE!”

When I was a teenager my mom was so scared after seeing a lot of 13yo with pregnancies and STDs that she went into crazy mode, aka “You have sex, you get an STD, you DIE!”. Luckily, I did not pay her any attention and brushed up on my reading of Cosmo.

4. “My parents had ‘done it’ FOUR TIMES! Oh, dear God!”

My mom sat down with me and explained it very logically and it didn’t faze me. Then I was doing the dishes a few nights later when it all “clicked” and I realized my parents did that to have me and my sister… I was only further horrified when my mom reminded me of her two miscarriages preceding me, so my parents had “done it” FOUR TIMES! Oh, dear God!

5. “They still think I am a virgin at 28!”

My conservative parents never talked to me about sex. Everything I learned, I learned on my own through books, magazines, and the internet. I actually think that my parents and their relatives, due to their conservative nature, have had very basic sex lives and restricted gender roles, etc. It seems to me that those of us born after the 1970s are much more educated about these things than older generations.

I think not talking to your teen about sex and acting as if it a very embarrassing or extremely serious matter is not a good thing. I have friends whose parents did not talk about it much, but they at least told them to “use protection”. My parents simply assumed that I would be having sex with the person I would eventually marry and only when I was ready to procreate. As a result of their conservative attitudes, I have had to hide things from them and lie about a lot of sexually related stuff. I don’t even bother answering any of their questions anymore. They still think I am a virgin at 28!

6. “My mom is a gynecologist.”

My mom is a gynecologist. I think that should sum it up pretty well.

7. “Sex was rather taboo in my house.”

My sex talk; “That’s how you get diseases.” “Boys only care about sex, not about you as a person.” “Here’s a book about what sex is and why it’s bad.”

I couldn’t talk to my mother about things like this. Sex was rather taboo in my house. I used to accuse her of being Puritanical, but I don’t think that her reasons are based in religion though she used to use religion as a reason. Talking to her as an adult and telling her that I’m asexual and what all that means, opened her up to new ideas. I think my mother is grey/demi and formed her own ideas around limited knowledge that made her feelings make sense. That’s what people do.

My father was a whore. LOL I mean a super over sexed sexual.

8. “My Mum’s introduction to ‘the talk’ was presenting me with an illustrated book and telling me if I had any questions I could ask her. It was horrifying.”

Oh dear lord, my Mum’s introduction to “the talk” was presenting me with an illustrated book and telling me if I had any questions I could ask her. It was horrifying. But I did learn a lot and aced my sex-ed classes later on! I think it’s important for parents to broach at some point, if only so people can know when they’re being pressured and that it’s ok to say no. Also, biology. Also, it would be more awkward if you wait too long.

9. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Nope. No sex talk, no puberty talk, no period talk, no books. All I got from my mom was “don’t do anything stupid” when I started to date and I get the “are you pregnant?” whenever I mention feeling nauseous. She refers to periods as “that business” and to genitalia as “a certain place.”

10. “I was the only 8-year-old kid who knew about spermatogenesis and ovulating.”

So my mom is a doctor – and ob-gyn too – and that made for interesting sex conversations.

I was the only 8-year-old kid who knew about spermatogenesis and ovulating and etc. because I used to read her medical books (okay, more like stare at the photos) but I had no idea how the ovules and sperm got together. My mom then told me how a fetus is made and develops after two people really love each other.

11. “I was 12 when my mom had “the talk” with me. It was right after the ‘condom episode’ of the original Beverly Hills 90210.”

I learned about sex from my best friend when I was 9. I was so grossed out! My parents were/are very open so I knew about periods. Before I knew about sex, I just thought when a man and woman got married, God put a baby in her belly. I was 12 when my mom had “the talk” with me. It was right after the “condom episode” of the original Beverly Hills 90210. My mom also put me on the pill when I started college. She said she wanted my face to clear up and my periods to regulate, but now I know she just wanted to make sure I was protected.

12. “When you get older, boys are gonna touch you and it’s gonna feel good, but don’t do it.”

I was like 8 or 9… my mom sits me down and pulls out one of those yellow note pads (all my 80’s and 90’s babies know what I’m talking about lol). Then she starts drawing and going on about “nests” that hold eggs and drop them out with all the fluid… (I had NO IDEA what she was talking about) Then she said, “When you get older, boys are gonna touch you and it’s gonna feel good, but don’t do it.” Then she asked me if I understood (of course I lied cuz I was thoroughly confused by then) and it was over…

When I have kids I’m gonna carry that totally differently. I’m talking charts, visits to the doctor, first person accounts of when tryna be grown goes wrong, the whole NINE. My babies will NOT be confused…

13. “She threw up her hands and walked out of the room.”

I was probably about the same age, 8 or 9. I remember my mother trying to be serious about it but I just started laughing (mainly out of discomfort) and she threw her hands up and walked out the room. We had a serious talk a few years later.

14. “The message was clearly don’t have sex, but even more importantly, don’t get pregnant.”

There was some hideous after school special my mom made me watch called “my mother is having a baby” or something like that when I was about 8. Our school district did sex ed in 4th grade that covered the biological processes, health ed in 7th grade that covered birth control, stds etc. I knew only two girls who got pregnant and pretyt much everyone was sexually active. One had an abortion and one had the baby, which was virtually unheard of where I lived. The worst thing you could do was “ruin” your future by getting pregnant.

15. “The joystick goes inside the vagina.”

I asked and my mom told me: when mummy and daddy sleep together, the joystick goes inside the vagina and the sperm (she explained what it was) makes women pregnant.

My mom was a nurse so she didn’t ‘hide’ anything. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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