Technically, the “vagina” is a hole surrounded by the rest of the female genitalia, which includes the vaginal muscles, the cervix, the uterus, the labia, and the clitoris. But for the sake of convenience, nearly everyone refers to all of the female genitalia as the “vagina,” so we will, too.
In its resting state, the vagina is barely large enough to contain your house keys.
Like the male organ, the vagina can double in size when it’s sexually aroused, enabling it to contain at least two sets of house keys.
By contrast, the much larger penis head boasts a mere 3,500 nerve endings, although the entire penis contains about 24,000 nerve endings.
Goddamned patriarchy, making everything about penises—even vaginas.
A compound known as squalane acts as a vaginal lubricant. It is also found in shark livers. (Cue every man in America asking their butcher if they carry shark livers.)
The average vagina has a pH level of 4, which qualifies as acidic. Sperm has a pH level of 8, which is basic, but you already knew that most guys are basic.
Some researchers speculate that pubic hair serves as a pheromone trap that lures the unsuspecting mate toward it much like the scent of pancakes grilling on a sunny summer morn.
Whereas the hair on your head can grow for up to seven years, your pubic hair will never get so long that you can lose your iPhone in it.
Only about one quarter of women are able to achieve orgasm strictly through intercourse, which is why youse guys need to pay extra attention to her love button.
Go easy on the garlic-and-sardines sandwiches and nibble on some pineapple chunks with strawberries instead.
During ovulation, cervical mucus becomes clear and rubbery, just like your boyfriend’s brain.
Therefore, there is no need to douche. Actually, douching can throw off your vagina’s delicate bacterial balance and create a tragic situation between your legs. Only a douche would tell you to douche.
OK, it doesn’t fall entirely out and splat onto the floor, but “vaginal prolapse” is a real condition wherein the vagina plops outside of the vulva and hangs down like a sock.
Although debate persists on whether the “G” spot actually exists, some evidence suggests it’s merely a sensitive area connected to the deep underside of your clitoris.
Nearly all women get them. Take pride rather than shame in this fact. Hell, you can even form a lady’s chorus where you queef in harmony like individual pipes in a pipe organ.
The vagina is elastic like a rubber band, so no matter how many donkey shows you perform in Tijuana, it will snap back to its regular shape after sex.
Now you can take even less comfort in being celibate.
This is because there’s never been a penis in history that’s as big as a baby.
But it happens so gradually, it’s almost impossible to collect enough at any given time to stir it into your coffee.
The ravages of time may weaken the female genital tract’s tautness. To avoid this horrid situation, perform Kegel exercises, don’t get fat, and don’t smoke.
This is why an extremely thick two-inch penis may provide more pleasure than a string-bean-shaped eight-inch penis.
The clitoris swells and increases in size during female arousal.
Although the visible part of the clitoris is only an inch or so, the rest of it extends within the body for up to six inches.
This seems sort of reproductively counterintuitive, for it would have made more sense if Lord Jehovah had given women more orgasmic capacity during ovulation, but the Lord works in mysterious ways.