25 Little-Known Facts About Penises

Shutterstock / Elena11
Shutterstock / Elena11

1. What you see is only half of what you’ve got.

Unfortunately, half of your penis is tucked away inside your body and attached to the pubic bone.

2. Your penis is crawling with bacteria.

Researchers in Arizona found 42 types of bacteria on men’s penises. That’s 42 more types than are acceptable.

3. It takes over four ounces of blood to achieve an erection.

One would assume that blood comes straight from the brain.

4. Penis size is not correlated to shoe size.

So put away your clown shoes. You’re not fooling anyone.

5. Penises stop growing in your early 20s.

In other words, your penis stops growing right when you start growing up.

6. A man’s penis is never bigger than when he’s receiving oral sex.

A scientific study determined that men’s penises measure the largest during a right good blowjob.

7. Smoking can make your penis smaller.

You may think it looks cool to smoke, but you’ll look a lot less cool once you drop your drawers.

8. Four-fifths of men are “growers”; the rest are “showers.”

Most men’s penises grow much larger when they get an erection. The rest really don’t improve much in size at all. Sucks to be them.

9. Bigger penises may be an evolutionary advantage.

This is because longer penises are better able to flush out a rival’s sperm. If you want to know why she was fucking a rival in the first place, you’d better ask her.

10. Only 6% of men require an extra-large condom.

Although probably half of them buy them anyway.

11. Penises are usually darker than the rest of your body.

And it has nothing to do with anal sex.

12. If you don’t use it, you might lose it.

Inactivity can shrink the penis from 1-2 centimeters, so start jerking off again immediately.

13. The underside is the most sensitive part.

Are you taking notes, ladies?

14. Penises lose sensation with age.

But by then you’re too senile to notice.

15. Globally, less than a third of men are circumcised.

Although nearly two-thirds of American men are circumcised.

16. Most men think they’re smaller than they actually are.

Even though they might brag that they’re bigger than they actually are.

17. Fetuses can have erections.

Well, c’mon—you’re in there for nine months. It gets boring after a while. You have to do something to kill the time.

18. It is almost impossible to achieve an erection in outer space.

This is according to astronauts’ personal testimonials.

19. There’s a reason his looks bigger than yours.

Well, one reason may be that it’s actually bigger. But the angle from which a man views his own penis makes it appear smaller than an identically sized penis when viewed on another.

20. Some men have two penises.

About 100 men in the world, to be exact. The condition is known as “diphallus.”

21. Hanging victims often achieve erections.

But the “being dead” part makes it impossible to enjoy them.

22. The smallest human penis ever recorded was 5/8 of an inch.

Weep for that poor fellow, will you?

23. The smallest animal penis is 1/5 of an inch.

And it belongs to the male shrew. So tell me again why they need to be tamed?

24. The penis has no muscles.

Instead it’s more like a sponge, except sponges aren’t nearly as pleasurable.

25. During missionary position, penises assume a boomerang shape.

MRI evidence confirms this. Why that dude was using an MRI during sex is anyone’s guess. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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