40 Guys Describe The Ultimate “Cool Girlfriend”

Shutterstock / Elvish
Shutterstock / Elvish
Found on AskReddit.


She understands that when something is wrong it should be you two together against the problem and not you vs. her.


I’d just say a cool girlfriend is also a good friend. That’s really it.


You can be your normal dorky and weird self around her and she still likes you. That’s super cool.


Someone who actually challenges me. I find it really irritating, and boring, when a girl agrees with me on everything to try and impress me.


Humble. Empathetic. Caring. Perceptive and Intelligent.


Really liking you. Not putting you down in front of her friends, your friends, anyone. Not being on the lookout for things to be upset about.


Low to no drama and very much go with the flow and fun.


Someone who has her own hobbies and doesn’t rely on me for entertainment.


A cool girl for me is someone who doesn’t make snap judgments and keeps herself open to new ideas. Along those lines, someone who can adapt to a given environment and is mentally and emotionally flexible.


To me, it’s the girl who has her own interests. I don’t want to be the center of anyone’s universe. I’m just not that interesting.


Understanding me in ways most people don’t. Not being easily offended. Being capable of rational conversation. Walking around in underpants. Making coffee for me on a Sunday morning. Getting along with my family. Lots of stuff, really.


Is as open to new things, caring but not overly so, honesty is cool, can take a joke and likes to organize events.


She’s not a bitch and doesn’t smoke cigarettes. It’s pretty simple to please me. Bonus points for being smart.


Basically, one thing. Low maintenance, and low stress.

Women who are so wound up they are constantly stressed out is NOT COOL.


My ideal cool girl? I want her paler then the moon with eyes that shine like stars. She’ll also marvel at my strength and adore my battle scars. tbh I couldn’t care less what she wears or what she looks like. It really all depends on what she cooks like. Also, I would hope my girl will think I have no faults, that I’m a major find. And contrary to the opinion of my contemporaries, I would like her to have a brain and for the most part speak her mind.


This sounds like a cop-out answer, but it is just the simple truth… Can you be yourself around her? I have dated girls in the past that I felt like I had to change myself to suit them. At the time (I was young) I didn’t really realize what was going on, but once I began dating my wife, I realized that I could gladly be who I was and she not only loved me for it, but encouraged it. She and I really clicked on this deep level. Honestly, what could be cooler than somebody that you share your desires, interests, and your unfiltered self with?


Someone who can live her life. Has her own interests and hobbies, and shows interest in yours. She’s educated and continues to learn, is aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. Nothing is more boring than a girl that watches Netflix all day and does nothing with herself.

Most of my friends that are girls that I consider to be cool are the go-getters.


Loyalty. As in, you don’t talk crap about your boyfriend when he’s not around. When other men try to hit on you, make sure you let them know you have a boyfriend.

Positivity. Not everyone has a good day, I love it when my girlfriend tries to brighten up my days. Sometimes it’s a compliment I needed to hear, sometimes it’s a blowjob. Could be anything, but it’s the fact she’s trying that makes me weak.

Self-confidence: a woman is the most attractive with a little bit of self-confidence. Not as in bragging you are the hottest, but it’s more of a sexy attitude you bring on the table.

Understand your man. It’s not because your boyfriend or husband isn’t smiling all the time or talking that he doesn’t love you. Sometimes we’re just in a neutral passive mood. Don’t assume it’s always your fault. Usually a good hug, intense kiss or a spontaneous blowjob can fix that mood though, as I mentioned in the second paragraph.


Drinks beer, has her own friends but gets along with mine, and most importantly puts up with my shit without holding a grudge.

I would not like dating some gamer girl because I think it’s important to have some hobbies I can do without her.


Someone who is smart, funny, geeky, ambitious, has her own friends, let’s you hang out with your friends, not jealous or controlling, willing to do try your interests/hobbies, makes an effort to get to know your friends & family, open-minded, can pick up a video game or ping pong paddle and play a pickup game, supports you in everything you do but also calls you out on your shit when needed, and making you a better man. Basically, your bro with a vag.


My only requirement is that they are passionate about something for themselves.

A hobby, something they can talk about enthusiastically that has nothing to do with other people.

I’ve had one too many girlfriends that are just insanely boring. All they want to do is look at other people’s lives and watch TV. They can’t spend a second away from you because they have nothing else going on. It’s impossible to talk to them in depth about anything.

This is why the “one of the guys” model is so appealing. No Tuesday nights spending 4 hours on Netflix.


Basically, she’s cool if she knows how to be mature while being immature at heart.


Shared interests

Friendly with my friends.

Likes to spend time alone but stay in the same room as me (So I can game or watch TV, and she can game or watch TV)

Easy to talk to

Likes staying at home often

Doesn’t mind lying in bed all day reading comics or watching TV.


There’s no one “cool girl” but they all have some elements in common.

My “cool girl” is not my buddy’s cool girl. One of my friends wants someone who drinks beer and plays pool and drives fast cars. Another wants someone who plays D&D and watches anime. Another wants someone who hikes and plays trombone for the local symphony. Or maybe she knows how to code and likes standup comedy.

What all the “cool girls” have in common is that they are unabashedly unashamed to be themselves. They aren’t trying to be cool. They aren’t so insecure they hate other people for being different. They don’t mind if you don’t like the same things they do but they’re happy to show you.

Being comfortable with who you are and what you love won’t make you a cool girl to every guy. But if you aren’t comfortable with who you are and what you love then you won’t be a cool girl to any guy. (Or girl, or whatever.)


In my opinion it’s a girl that’ll not only listen to my ramblings about comics, manga, a videogame I’m playing, or a book I’m reading but actually ask questions and show interest in it. Bonus points if she actually watches it with me or plays it with me. Other than that a girl that’ll happily give and receive spontaneous head.


She has her own interests/passions but also shares some with me and is open to exploring my own.

She has her own friends but is also friends with my friends. She can hang out with all us and isn’t insecure about me hanging out with them without her.

She loves herself as much as she loves me, she doesn’t need me around all the time to be happy but being with me makes her happier.

She keeps her insecurities in check by keeping open communication between us and vice versa.


My definition of a cool girlfriend is simple. Leave me alone sometimes. Just fucking leave me alone. It’s not you. I don’t hate people. I’m not really a misanthrope.

But if I don’t get an hour or two a day alone I start to get shitty. My brain gets all haywire and I become extremely stressed and over-reactive. My temper gets completely out of control too.

Almost 100% of the women I have known in my life have found this to be a real problem. With my ex-wife I would wake up in the middle of the night while she slept and go play video games for a few hours and then go back to sleep. I had to hide my need for alone time with her because she didn’t trust me and she was an extremely clingy woman.

Anyway, that is the secret to being cool. Just let your guy have some alone time and let him pursue his own interests during that time. If a guy loves you he really is just playing poker with the guys and not hunting for another woman.


When she pops your acne. Especially on your back. That shit is cool.


If she says what she means. With a lot of girls I struggle to figure out the real meaning of their “yes” and “no.” Do you mind if I go out tonight even though you feel like staying in? If so please just say so instead of saying okay then being mad when I get back.


Laid back with a good sense of humor

Gets along with most people, especially my friends and family

Some sense of adventure and willingness to explore (and I ain’t just talking in the bedroom)

Someone who sees the things that I am oblivious to

Someone who is NOT an entitled materialistic or shallow princess


Kids, listen to me. I am old.

A cool girlfriend will make a fancy bourbon drink for you and ignore your loud farts. I swore off bourbon, but I will drink a mint julep if she makes one. Another trait of a cool girlfriend… She will not try to stop the most dangerous, quixotic misadventures, which often result in one’s injury.


Leaving me alone. Sometimes I just want to come home, throw a Hot Pocket in the microwave and go to bed. Allowing me to do that without being upset is pretty cool. I don’t want you cooking for me. I want you to have your own shit going on besides me.

I just want to play video games this weekend. If you want to hang out while I do that, cool. But you should go out or catch up on your shows in the other room. I’m going to have my headset on anyway. If a girl is cool with that, not just tolerating it, but actually happy in that scenario… That’s pretty damn cool.


-don’t nag

-be able to make a decision on what to eat when we go out

-don’t call things we do ‘stupid’ or ‘immature’ just because they’re not things you like to do.

-if I masturbate, it’s not because I don’t find you attractive. In fact it has very little to do with you.

-My female friends are not competition for you. If they were I’d be dating them.

-Sometimes I need some alone time (not for masturbation). Doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving you or I’m hiding something. Again, it’s got very little to do with you.


Being able to bake cookies is important too. I fucking love cookies.


A real cool girl is one that lets things roll off her back and isn’t interested in fighting or arguing about things that don’t matter in the long run.


It’s pretty simple IMHO:

1.) Clever

2.) Gets along with other people in your life

3.) Has her own things going on. She has to have a life separate from yours, with her own goals to achieve and her own dragons to slay. Double points if she slays frost dragons, because they’re immune to cold damage and that’s the only kind of spell I have.


A girl with her own hobbies, passions, opinions and things she cares about. A girl who is curious to learn new things and who can teach me new things. A girl who can get me out of my comfort zone and who is excited when I take her out of hers. A girl who can show me something new. A girl with a personality.


When she is your best friend and you have no problem being anyone but yourself. My fiancée is awesome and I wouldn’t swap her for anyone. When we got together I was broke and she made sure we only did things I could afford and over the years I now earn almost double to what she earns and she still insists on paying her way(but I generally don’t let her). We don’t have the same interests but we are interested in each other and that is what matters.


Ability to converse like an adult

Exceptional intellect

Passion for something

Ability to drink beer & whisky

Lady in the street, freak in the bed

Freak in the bed


A girl who lets you be yourself, supports, encourages, or does not interfere with your interests, who doesn’t like drama, doesn’t do the whole “jealous stalker” girlfriend thing, who is equally comfortable in sweatpants at home on a rainy day as she is dressed to the nines at a fancy dinner/club, who isn’t materialistic but appreciates nice things, and who does try and “change” you due to pressure from her friends’ unrealistic expectations or pre-defined societal roles.

Basically, the one girl who doesn’t actually exist, also known as the unicorn. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog