1. Why do you draw penises on everything?
Where does the urge to draw penises on everything come from?
2. Why is EVERYTHING about sex?
They can turn anything, anything, into a sexual innuendo. Well, at least my SO can.
3. Why don’t you ask for directions?
Why won’t you ask for directions?
4. Why can’t you talk about your feelings?
Why don’t you talk about your feelings? Goddammit just tell me what you’re thinking!
5. Why is talking about ANYTHING so hard?
Why is talking about ANYTHING so hard?
6. Why do your minds wander so easily?
How much their minds wander. Today at lunch two of my friends had an argument about “male cows” and bulls.
7. How the hell are you able to sit there and think about absolutely nothing?
How men can literally tune out completely and not think at all. It’s the one quality I really wish I had as a woman – the ability to literally park one’s mind in neutral and zone out comfortably….If there was anything to envy men about – it’s the ability to relax and think about nothing.
8. Why do you ask questions and then not listen to the answer?
Do you have some kind of listening off switch? Guys will literally ask you a question and then not listen to a word of your answer.
9. Why do you always have to prove how “manly” you are?
Just what is it with you guys and your needs for “manliness”? Like wanting to show off your dick, or the need to “protect” the woman even when she clearly doesn’t need help (I know, two very different clauses, but whatever)
10. Why are you always afraid that everyone will think you’re gay?
I will never understand why so many men seem to fear that someone else will think they are gay. And to fear that more than anything else that could ever happen. Like it’d be worse to be thought gay than to be thought a liar or a thief or an idiot. What is the big deal?
11. Why do you act like such babies when you get sick?
Why do you guys always try to act all macho but then turn into babies when you’re sick?
12. Why can’t you change the toilet-paper roll?
Inability to change the loo roll. Why, why why do you insist on leaving the empty roll on the holder and a new roll just on the floor? The bin is less than a foot away.
13. Why can’t you pee straight into the toilet without missing?
How hard it is to pee in the toilet, and not all over the floor around it?
14. Why do you flush the toilet before you’re done peeing?
Why do men (or maybe just my son and his dad) flush the toilet before they’re done peeing? I’ve never gotten a complete answer from them. It’s like it’s some secret guy code thing.
15. Why the hell can’t you wash your dirty, filthy hands?
How negligent you all are about washing your hands. Like, what is a worthy cause for washing your hands? Smearing shit all over them? Because I swear you guys only reserve hand-washing for very special occasions.
16. Why do you act like you don’t care how you look?
I hear a lot of guys say they don’t put any effort into their appearance unless there’s a chance they’re going to get laid. Why wouldn’t you just want to look good anyway? There’s a lot of other reasons (know you look great, impress other people, chance of being treated better…)
17. Why don’t you remember that THURSDAY IS TRASH DAY?
How is it you can remember scores from football games from five years ago, the make and model of every car ever made, but can’t remember that THURSDAY IS TRASH DAY?? It’s been trash day for fifteen years. Please tell me!!
18. Why do you act so nonchalant about medical issues?
How absolutely nonchalant dudes can be about medical issues. “Oh, I have a serious cut on my arm? Fuck it, Krazy Glue Band-Aid.”
19. How the hell can you fight another guy and then suddenly be best buds?
How men can get into a knock-down/drag-out fight and then be best friends moments after. How does this even work? How do men drop grudges after they drop their fists?
20. What’s with all the farts?
Farting all of the time and not even feeling a little bit embarrassed. Most of the times indifferent, sometimes proud. Punctuating your sentences with farts. Farting as loud as possible. My boyfriend started doing this like 3 months in. I have accidentally farted about 3 times in 6 years. Actually, it baffles me how much friction there is in a man’s buttcrack.
21. If you like us, why do you take so long to ask us out?
Why do men take so long to ask out a girl they like? I have many guy friends and guys that liked me and they would go months torturing themselves and watch the girl they like date another guy because they are too afraid of what will happen.
Personally, I don’t have fear of approaching and talking to a guy that I like so I just don’t understand it.
22. Why do you let yourselves go after marriage?
How, after marriage or many years together, you can just stop doing the little things that made your SO fall in love with you in the first place. Compliments, hand-holding, hugs, kisses, just saying “I love you” are little things that mean a lot to most women. When you stop doing those things, we begin to wonder if you even want to be together anymore. Do you guys just get comfortable and figure “I have her, I don’t need to try anymore?”
23. Why do we suddenly become ugly when we reject you?
That I’m sooo beautiful, sexy, fun, interesting, amazing, etc…. Until I say I’m not interested. Then I become a weak-minded fat cow who wears too much makeup to hide my low self-esteem. Just absolutely baffles me.
24. How are you able to go from one girl to the next so easily?
That some of you can go from girl to girl with no feelings or consequence. No feelings seem to be involved on your part whereas I, I don’t know about other females, let feelings get involved and I fall for someone quickly. Some guys seem to get over a girl and move onto the next far too quickly.
25. How can you possibly be so ignorant about periods?
How some of them are completely ignorant about periods and birth control. Like half the population gets periods, be an adult and stop acting confused when I say I need a feminine hygiene product or Midol.
26. Why do you bring up sex right after being introduced ot us?
Why so many of them think its acceptable to demand sexual favors on first dates and bring up sex immediately after an introduction.
Ex. Him: Hi, I’m John. Me: Nice to meet you, I’m R—-. Him: Do you like anal?
27. Why on earth do you think every women on earth wants you?
I’m baffled by men thinking every woman wants them. If you are a 6 why are you trying to pick up a girl who is a 9?
Also, do men know that balls don’t always smell great? I hear men talk about vaginal order but male genitals can smell pretty horrible.
I will never understand being with a horrible person because she is hot when you could have a wonderful person who is maybe not as hot. I guess guys like herpes.
28. What’s with the butt fixation?
Why guys seem to have an attraction to the rear end. It’s like guys, it’s where my crap comes from, not sure how you find it attractive.
29. What’s with the boob-sucking?
What’s the appeal of sucking on boobs? I mean it doesn’t actually do anything FOR you, right. I mean it feels awesome for us but…what’s the appeal?