21 Men Share Sexual Secrets That May Have Been Better Left Unshared (NSFW)

Shutterstock / Helga Esteb
Shutterstock / Helga Esteb
Found on AskReddit.

1. I have a rainbow penis.

I have a rainbow penis, as in the tip is multicolored. It’s most likely due to an adverse effect from when I was circumcised when I was 5 or 6.

2. I have two holes in my penis.

I have two holes in my penis. I was born with a hole in the wrong place (right below the head) and when I was one year old my dad had the doctors try to fix it. They poked a new hole in the right place, moved the urethra, and "filled up" the other hole. Well, when I was about 10, the hole opened up again. Now I piss through two holes, and can’t use a urinal.

3. I came in my own mouth…and swallowed.

At 13, I came in my own mouth when I masturbated.

I swallowed.

4. I love it when fat chicks sit on my face and fart.

I love it when fat chicks sit on my face and fart.

5. I ejaculate a little bit every time I poop.

I ejaculate a little bit every time I poop.

First off, I don’t have an enlarged prostate. I already asked a doc. It is probably from pushing too hard. But I feel like I’m not pushing at all so that explanation is weird to me. It really doesn’t bother me, it is just something weird about me.

6. I have erectile dysfunction and low testosterone.

I’m a guy under 30. I have erectile dysfunction and low testosterone. My libido is in the toilet and my sex life with my wife is pretty shitty and it’s a constant source of shame for me, even with treatment for low testosterone.

I really want to have sex, but when it’s go time things just don’t function properly and I ejaculate really quickly.

7. I have a third nipple.

I have a third nipple. Some of my friends have nicknamed me Chandler because of this.

8. Oh, yeah? Well, I have FOUR nipples.

I have 4 nipples.

9. My dog licked my dick.

My dog licked my dick.

10. I have a dickfreckle.

I have a square scar on my ass from a skin graft and I have a dickfreckle.

11. Witnessing torture on people I believe deserved it was the only thing that aroused me

Witnessing torture on people I believe deserved it was the only thing that aroused me, and that upset me so much I repressed my sexuality.

12. I can suck my own dick. Not that good, to be honest.

I can suck my own dick. Not that good, to be honest. Feels more like there’s a dick in your mouth than you’re getting your dick sucked.

13. I was strange.

When I was 7 or 8 years old, I told my female cousin, who was 6 by the time, about sex, (I watched to many TV by the time) and she said that we should try it, I was innocent and we decided to try, no we didn’t have sex, she was on all 4 but I didn’t know that there was a hole, neither what was a vagina, I just knew that if I put my penis in there something would happen, yeah…I was strange.

14. One and only time I used Craigslist went horrible. Didn’t know what MFM was…

One and only time I used Craigslist went horrible. Didn’t know what MFM was and set up a meet to get my bits sucked. A large 30-year-old man shows up. Not knowing how to say no I let him start his business. Funny thing is I’m not gay, so I get a floppy blowjob for 10 mins until he stops and we part ways.

15. I have had multiple encounters with transsexual escorts.

Despite being married now, I have had multiple encounters with transsexual escorts including a former porn star with a 10-inch black monster.

16. I lost my virginity to the theme song from “Fresh Prince” in 2007.

I lost my virginity to the theme song from “Fresh Prince” in 2007, before it was a big meme, or at least before I was aware that it was. It happened late at night during a marathon. She was on her period, but that wasn’t going to get in the way of my first time. I couldn’t finish for the life of me because I was drunk and I guess that happens to me. After about two hours, the condom broke, which was terrifying. But then, drunkenly forgetting about the period blood, I asked the girl to finish me off with her mouth, which she actually started doing without hesitation. This was surprising, but not at the time. I never finished and she went back to her place, so I jerked off.

Also, it was my friend’s sister.

17. I get aroused by blood and pain.

I get aroused by blood and pain. I don’t necessarily seek out gore porn, but if I come across it I enjoy it. It makes me feel pretty shitty because I know it’s a sign of a bad mental state. I’m a pretty kinky person. Sociopathy definitely doesn’t help with that and it’s probably the reason I’m into this kind of stuff. The worst part about it is that I’m still a teenager. A kid. It worries me.

18. It takes me 20 minutes to cum during sex.

It takes me 20 minutes to cum during sex. I am a man. I’m self-conscious about outlasting my gf (by like 15 minutes) in bed.

19. I’m a guy with no testicles.

I’m a guy with no testicles. When I was born there was some complication with one of them (undescended? I think) and only grew up with one testicle which is why drawings of cocks and balls used to confuse me until my early teens. At 14 I had a testicular torsion which was left unnoticed for more than 12hrs before it was fixed so my other testicle lost all blood supply and is now nonexistent. You’d think you would notice your singular ball swelling to the size of a tennis ball but all the pain was in my abdomen so I didn’t think it was testicle related until too late. Now I end up having to take an injection of testosterone every 4-6 weeks. Unfortunately I will never have kids but I guess that could be a perk too in terms of sex.

20. My underage niece gave me a handjob.

When I was 22 my niece who was 15 at the time (and quite good looking for a girl her age) gave me a handjob. She knew I had too much to drink and initiated it. Over the next couple of weeks she regularly gave me a handjob. She thought it was fun to jerk me off and make me cum. I should’ve stopped it, but I didn’t because she was so good at it. It’s our little secret and no one was hurt so it’s not the end of the world.

21. I fucked a Kermit the Frog stuffed animal.

One time when I was going through puberty I cut a hole in the bottom of my brother’s Kermit the Frog stuffed animal and tried fucking it to see what sex was like. It was not what I expected and all I ended up with was stuffing on my dick and a horrified Kermit plushie. TC mark

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