1. Kanye West
Total narcissist with no concept of of social cues and mores, and no empathy.
2. Taylor Swift
NOBODY IS ACTUALLY THAT NICE. I absolutely cannot wait until the story breaks about how she’s a neo-Nazi or abandoned a baby in a dumpster or leaves a trail of desecrated corpses wherever she goes.
Bieber. After years of ridicule and virtual harassment, I wouldn’t be surprised if he started coming after all of us one by one.
4. Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson—I’ll likely be killed shortly for exposing him like this.
5. Bill Cosby
Nobody would ever believe he was a serial rapist AND killer at the same time, perfect cover.
6. Tom Hanks
That motherfucker is too damn nice to not be secretly Patrick Bateman-ing everyone he meets.
7. Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise for sure. He has the look of a man that’s almost at his snapping point. I can imagine him gunning down a grocery store with that psycho smile that of his.
John Travolta. He just keeps on adding his victim’s faces on his own.
9. Michael Cera
Probably Michael Cera. Probably.
10. Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood is about to massacre his whole cleaning staff, I can just feel it.
11. Jimmy Fallon
Nicest Guy in Showbiz, my ass! He’s got a map of LA with little red x’s all over it, each one a body.
12. Kevin Spacey
Kevin. Fucking. Spacey.
He’s too good at playing the non-caring sociopath. It’s like it really is him.
13. Woody Allen
Woody Allen, because it seems like the next step in creepy for him.
14. Chris Brown
He has a Manson-like sway over Team Breezy, nightclub shootings break out whenever he performs and he’s bragged at anger management rehab that he’s good with guns & knives.
15. Mark Wahlberg
He cut the eye of a Vietnamese out with a meat hook.
And did a lot of other crazy things.
16. Jack Nicholson
I don’t think he’d do it himself, but Jack Nicholson seems like the type of guy who, if you’re at his house and he sort of mentions that Jeff’s kind of a douchebag, then you sort of know it’s time to go out back and get a shovel.
17. Jake Gyllenhaal
Because have you seen Nightcrawler?
18. Elijah Wood
He’s just got that feel to him. Like he’s hiding something.
19. Vince Vaughn
Vince Vaughn. Look at those beady eyes and that dead expression and tell me that he doesn’t have body parts stuffed into his fridge. The fact that he constantly looks tired tells me that he is up all night, torturing and dismembering his victims. That and he’s (supposedly) a complete cunt which just rounds it all off.
20. Aubrey Plaza
Go watch the intro to P and R.
That look in her eye straight up says "I kill people. Don’t Fuck with me."
21. Bill O’Reilly
Bill O’Reilly. Because I’ve heard from that place where I make things up on the fly that he can only come when he drives a knife into a human torso, and that he is a sex addict, all of which makes being a serial killer a necessity. Rush Limbaugh beats off to the videos.
22. Andy Dick
Not even joking, I’ve heard some really really weird stuff about him and how he even got big in Hollywood in the first place.
Creepiest guy in the history of "celebrities.”
23. Morgan Freeman
Morgan Freeman, he’s too good to be true.
He could just be a psychopath who is fantastic at acting and putting on this kind of "Chill as fuck dude" vibe (which is why he became an actor) but when you get down to it his basement is full of dead hookers.
24. Jack White
Just…the aversion to modern technology. The color coding. He’s so intense, I feel like he could fly off the handle without too much provocation.
…holy shit, he killed Meg.
25. Kirk Cameron
Kirk Cameron is trying to make up for something.
26. Sean Penn
Bono, every time he claps his hands.
28. John Malkovich
Can’t believe this hasn’t been said already, John Malkovich. He has some creepy tendencies and a face only a mother could love.
29. George Clooney
George Clooney obviously. He’s too good, charismatic and universally liked. Maybe Bono.
30. Gary Busey
I rest my case.
31. John Stamos
1, 2, 3, John Stamos
32. Jenny McCarthy
Too late but what the hay. Jenny McCarthy is much smarter than people realize. Murder by proxy is her favorite method.
33. Jaden Smith
Jaden Smith. I mean 90% of the stuff he says is borderline nuts so going totally off the deep end and murdering a few people is totally within reason.
Robert Downey Jr. seems like a psychopath to me. He could be a serial killer if he wanted. He reminds me of the Joker from Batman in a weird way..
35. Michael Shannon
Michael Shannon. I do not think anyone would put that past him after watching The Iceman.
36. Bill Murray
Bill Murray and no one would suspect him. He always has a very non-emotional expression on his face so he can hide his emotions well. He shows up at random events and everyone is so trusting of him. I’ve seen a shit ton of photos on the internet from random strangers that had him show up at an event.
Neil Patrick Harris.
38. Jared Leto
Jared Leto always seems like he’s planning where to dump his latest victim’s remains.
39. Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh. I’ve always thought he was creepy and had the potential to be completely psychotic.
40. Shia Laboeuf
Shia Laboeuf. He is an actual cannibal after all.
41. Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin….come to think of it, that family is a serial killer franchise.
42. Kris Jenner
Kris Jenner. She’s secretly a vampire who uses the blood of her victims to stay young and keep her family famous even though "no one" watches their show so I can’t figure out how it’s still on…
43. Crispin Glover
Crispin Glover, because… well look at him.
Matthew Broderick, he’s killed before, I bet he’s killed again.
45. Adam Baldwin
Adam Baldwin. He coasts by on Firefly love, but his rat-like eyes and gloating smirk tell a different story.
46. Judd Nelson
Judd Nelson has always freaked me out. Those eyes, staring you down no matter the role.
47. William H. Macy
William H. Macy. His middle initial is always mentioned as part of his name, he is "such a nice man," he looks like a regular normal dude.
48. Keanu Reeves
You don’t live for hundreds of years without having to ritualistically sacrifice a few dozen people.
49. Louis CK
Some of the dude’s psychopathic murder joke stories are just a little too detailed.
50. Daniel Day-Lewis
I could see Daniel Day-Lewis killing some people, but only as preparation for a role as a serial killer.
51. Ryan Seacrest
Ryan Seacrest. My phone autocorrected his last name to Secrets, which makes me believe I am on to something.
52. Nicolas Cage
Nicolas Cage because…well, Nicolas Cage…
53. Jude Law
Jude Law. I feel he might be inadequate in someways so he might try to overcompensate.
54. Regis Philbin
Regis Philbin. I know.
55. Benicio Del Toro
Benicio Del Toro…scary-looking mofo.
56. Dakota Fanning
Dakota Fanning. It’s always the people you least expect.
57. Rob Schneider
Rob Schneider is… A Serial Killer!
58. Tilda Swinton
Tilda Swinton. She just has so much rage inside her.
59. Joaquin Phoenix
60. Danny Trejo
Danny Trejo. Try and convince me he HASNT killed anybody.
61. Jonah Hill
Only serial killers are that nice.
62. Ashton Kutcher
Ashton Kutcher. He had a girlfriend that was murdered once. His defense was that he went to her house, looked through the window, saw the blood on the carpet, and walked away thinking the blood was a wine stain.
63. Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie…because you would never see it coming.
64. Brad Dourif
Brad Dourif. He is just wonderfully creepy.
65. Macaulay Culkin
I could see Macaulay Culkin stabbing someone for drugs.
66. Steven Seagal
His movies are actually documentaries about his day-to-day life.
67. The Rock
68. Courtney Love
Courtney Love is clearly a ruthless psychopath.
69. Betty White
Betty White—everyone thinks she’s s nice she won’t even hurt a fly then she strikes.
70. Richard Simmons
Richard Simmons. I don’t know why but there is just something……
71. Paris Hilton
She does anything for that coke.
72. Rob Lowe
Rob Lowe. That’s how he looks so young. He absorbs the life essence of his victims.
73. Willem Dafoe
Willem Dafoe. Just look at him. You know he has some skeletons in his closet. A few under his bed, too. And brains in the fridge.
74. Charlize Theron
How have I not seen Charlize Theron on here? It runs in her family, plus there was even an amazing writing prompt about here murdering a bunch of people after the not-apocalypse.
75. Wayne Brady
Surprised no one’s said Wayne Brady.