23 People On The Most NSFW Thing They Did In Their Teens

Flickr / Ashley Harrigan
Flickr / Ashley Harrigan
Found on AskReddit.

1. Fucked a cucumber while on Vicodin.

I fucked a cucumber while on Vicodin.

2. Jerked off with a banana peel.

Used a banana skin to fap. It was amazing.

3. The dog…the peanut butter…

The dog…The peanut butter…The regrets…

4. Ran off with some strangers during Bike Week.

Ran off with some strangers during Bike Week when I was 17. Did a shit ton of drugs, drank gallons of booze, and ended up sleeping with two of the strangers in a flea motel. Time of my life.

5. Got a handjob in the backseat while her mom was driving.

I got a handjob in the backseat of a car…during the day…me sitting directly behind the driver…with nothing covering my penis…with the girl’s mom driving.

6. Got head in the backseat while my mom was driving.

Gf at the time gave me head in the back of my mom’s minivan while my mom was driving us home from a wedding.

7. Got a blowjob in the backseat while both her parents were in the front seat.

Gf gave me a bj with my parents in the front seat. We put a coat over her head. She was “napping.”

8. Got a handjob in the back of a church van filled with boys.

First handjob in the back of a church van filled with boys. This is when I discovered I was gay.

9. Simultaneously finger-banged two girls in a church.

I finger-banged two girls at the same time…in a church.

10. The only boy who could ever teach me was the son of a preacher man.

At 16: Had sex with the preacher’s son at the center of the Christian college.

I didn’t even know him very well, or go to church as much as he did. We just snuck out of our own houses and he took me there. It was awesome.

11. Fingered my girlfriend at a pizza restaurant with my whole family at the table.

I once fingered my then-girlfriend at a pizza restaurant in Cape Cod with my whole family and cousins at the table.

12. Got a handjob at the planetarium amid a class of 25 people.

During our time at the planetarium, when the lights went out I whipped out my dick and convinced this girl to give me a handjob. When I came I just wiped it on the chairs too. This was in a class of about 25 people.

13. Jacked off in a hot tub while surrounded by female friends.

Jacked off in a hot tub with a few of my female friends in it. Lots of bubbles and not moving any part of my arm above the water were my key to success.

14. Got jerked off to completion in a hot tub while surrounded by my girlfriend’s family.

I got jerked off to completion in a hotel hot tub in the middle of the day while my gf’s two younger siblings were also in it and her mom was sitting in a chair next to the hot tub and talking to us. Good times.

15. Got a handjob in the bleachers during her brother’s baseball game.

My best friend (with benefits) gave me a handjob in the bleachers of her brother’s baseball game while her parents are just a few feet away from us and sitting on the bench below us, or whatever bleachers are made of. We were sharing a blanket because it was a little chilly. And once her mom almost caught her giving me a blowjob though I have no doubt she knew something was up. Fun times.

16. Traded handjobs with another guy just to see a girl naked.

Me and a friend jerked each other off in exchange for seeing a girl naked during a game of Truth or Dare. I regret nothing.

It was either that, or having sex with a girl in a public area while a group of people cheered us on until the finale.

17. Got daily blowjobs in the school auditorium.

Used to get BJs daily in my empty school auditorium during lunch. Wiped my baby batter on the curtains.

No ragrets.

18. Masturbated while riding a bike.

Masturbated while riding a bike down a country lane. Full daylight. Had to be careful of the occasional car.

19. Tried (and failed) to fuck a pie and a pack of butter.

I watched American Pie and wanted to know how it felt like to stick my dick in a pie. Unfortunately we were out of pie so I used a pack of butter. It was too hard for penetration so I tried heating it up without success. When that failed I gave up and proceeded to shamelessly jerk off the regular way. Good times.

20. Filmed a sex tape on the family camera; dad found it.

I made a homemade sex tape when I was 16 with my girlfriend on the family camera (not smart, I know)… Dad found it, didn’t talk much, a few days later I had a hand drawn card of a bear wearing galoshes and a poncho, open up the card and 2 condoms fall out, with a note inside saying, “If you’re going to play in the rain, wear your rainboots… Be smart, you don’t want to get her pregnant – dad.”

21. Filmed a sex video with my boyfriend.

Boyfriend at the time and I had a sex video….

Yeah he showed everyone. Ruined my life :)

22. Used mom’s camera to take dick pics.

I took dick pics at the request of an online girl I really liked on the family digital camera. This in itself isn’t terribly bad, but the camera was completely packed with my mother’s vacation photos and didn’t seem to like saving photos in order—they’d be absolutely scattered throughout the memory. The next day my mom had guests over and decided to show them ALL the photos they had taken on their recent vacation by hooking the camera up to the TV. The feeling of dread I felt was palpable. She had me controlling the camera while my entire family and a good number of friends and relatives sat around me, all watching the TV while I slowly scrolled through every image in the camera. I thought I was going to die from a heart attack and that my One-Eyed Willie would abruptly pop up on the TV at any moment. Thankfully I had somehow managed to delete every single one, but that event completely traumatized me.

23. A “diverse” array of sex acts.

• With a friend we brought home two girls. We proceeded to have sex with them in his room, switched girls eventually and took a group selfie to commemorate our debauchery.

• Had sex with then girlfriend in many situations: Hotel room while her dad slept in the other bed. Hotel room while my brother slept in the other bed. Condo on a ski trip with my family while my two brothers, cousin and good friend were all in the same room, all awake. In my parents’ van on a country road, people came to make sure we weren’t broken down there, nope just balls deep. Sex on my parents’ dining-room table while home alone, in her butt a couple times, in her parents’ hot tub, in bathroom of a cruise ship near Greece on a school trip, list probably goes on.

• One time she was blowing me and my mom barges in past closed door so I improvise and also throw my head under the blanket, pretending we were in a blanket fort. No doubt in my mind she knew.

• Another time, having sex, mom barges in again, play it off. She does whatever she was doing (dropping off laundry or something) and then leaves. Realize my jeans were at the foot of the bed. Obviously she knew, again.

• Fucked a vacuum once. 7/10 it was okay.

• Brought home random bar girl with blue hair. Fucked her multiple times in my dorm room with and without a condom. Never learned her name because we went straight from the loud dance floor to my bed….

• I don’t know, I never did anything really terrible. Just diverse. TC mark

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