I’ve seen people ask: “Why would you enter into a monogamous relationship knowing you’re going to cheat?” I didn’t intend to cheat from the start. The point is that stuff like this starts small and grows fast, and each misstep makes the next one easier. Inevitably you’ll be faced with a tough situation, and sometimes during that situation your emotion will trump your reason, you will find yourself in a moment of weakness, and during that moment you can make a bad decision. The missteps have built up and the cycle continues.
Me: Married 20 years, kids still at home. Successful, good-looking, good with people. Expert flirt. Her: No libido. 200 pounds overweight, emotional problems. Selfish. Rarely washes. Super lazy. Does not comply with therapist’s suggestions. Completely oblivious to my needs, wants or dreams.
I spent the first 12+ years of our relationship showering her with love and affection. I cuddled her and told her she was beautiful. I said “I love you” every day. I was the best husband and father I could be. She met someone online and fell in love with them. I didn’t know. Then she did it again, and I found out. I was able to save the marriage, and we worked on it. She continued to reject me. I felt distant from her and began to learn how to flirt with and seduce women. I started cheating.
Now I have girlfriends. Wife doesn’t know. Sometimes I fall in love with them, it’s really fun. Being around someone who makes you feel wanted is amazing. Everyone should try it.
When the kids are old enough we will get divorced.
10. “Some people just aren’t cut out for monogamous relationships. I think it’s more than most realize.”
I cheated a long time ago on a man I really loved. I knew he wasn’t the one but we had a great time together. I told him at one point that I wanted to try being with another man at the same time. He wasn’t dominant enough for me; in fact, he was very vanilla, but good in bed nonetheless. I was also manic. He told me no. So I cheated. I didn’t feel good about it. I was also dating a girl, but he was okay with that part. Eventually I just realized I’m not made for monogamy.
When I got into my next relationship(s), I made it clear from the start that I’m polyamorous. It’s never been an issue since, and I’ve been married for almost 8 years to a wonderful man. I had a boyfriend/ Dom who broke up with me in January, and we were together almost 2 years. My husband has been with his girlfriend/ sub for over a year now.
Some people just aren’t cut out for monogamous relationships. I think it’s more than most realize.