What I would ever do if someone were to rape my girlfriend? Comes up whenever I’m really tired and bored or extremely hungry.
“I wonder what that person will think about while they’re dying.”
Fairly often I kind of “challenge” my own morals in ways that just makes me really uncomfortable. An example of the thought process would be like, “I really love my friend/girlfriend/pet/dad, etc. But how much do I love him? Would I choose my own unhappiness for their security or happiness? What if it meant it would bring somebody back to life who I really miss? Would I be willing to sacrifice x, y, or z in my life for that?”
I suppose a better way to describe it would be a real-world example. Let’s say somebody close to me is about to die of cancer. My mind will start playing these morality games with me by asking myself questions like, “If it meant that they were cured, would I become celibate for the rest of my life? And if not, isn’t that completely selfish?”
And these thoughts honestly bring me some sort of anguish. Like, in the end I feel like I would choose the selfish option, but the fact that I am choosing something like my sex life over another person’s actual life, just makes me feel so wrong.
Along similar lines, I also ask myself questions like the classic, “If there was a button that, when pressed, would kill somebody who I never have and never will possibly meet, but that also ensured healthy financial stability for the rest of my life, would I press it? What if said person had a moderate chance of dying regardless?”
As you can tell, morality is kind of a big deal to me. Doing the “right thing.” So when my mind starts to blur the lines of morality on me by pondering these hypothetical scenarios, it ends up making me feel some sort of weird guilt for something that I’ve never even done.
I’d always picture what would happen if I just randomly kissed the person I’m talking to, regardless of gender.