Thought Catalog

23 People Share Humiliating Family Secrets [NSFW]

  • 0
Lisa F. Young / (Shutterstock.com)
Lisa F. Young / (Shutterstock.com)
Found on AskReddit.

1. “My mom shaves her pussy bald.”

My mom shaves her pussy bald. I walked in on her powdering it post-shave.

2. “My dad has a giant penis.”

My dad has a giant penis. Tired of living in your shadow, dad! … Is there no way I can escape the tyranny of your wang, father?!

3. “My oldest brother…used to make me take showers with him and touch his dick.”

My oldest brother told me as an adult that when he was 16 and I was three, he used to make me take showers with him and touch his dick. I don’t remember it at all, and really wish he just wouldn’t have told me.

4. “My grandfather once turned to me and said “I’ve noticed a lot of homosexuals have mustaches.”

My grandfather once turned to me and said “I’ve noticed a lot of homosexuals have mustaches. Do you think that improves the sensation? You know they call it ‘sucking off.’”

Yes grampa, I don’t know grampa, no they don’t grampa.

5. “My grandpa raped my mom for years.”

My grandpa raped my mom for years. Everyone on that side of the family has had a drug problem at some point. My grandma tried to shoot my grandpa with a shotgun once.

I tend to stay away from that side unless necessary.

6. “Mom has a boyfriend in another state.”

Mom has a boyfriend in another state. Dad knows, my brother knows. Mom doesn’t know we know.

7. “Grandpa watches very explicit barely legal porn.”

I actually thought it was sweet when I realized that my grandparents (together 60+ years) still have sex.

I did not think it was so sweet when I went to help with their computer and found out that grandpa watches very explicit barely legal porn.

8. “My father forced me to watch him and my step mom have sex…”

My father forced me to watch him and my step mom have sex when I was 6….

9. “Cousin 2 wants to fuck cousin 3. Cousin 3 is a man. Cousin 3 is me.”

Cousin 1 is a woman. Cousin 1 wants to fuck cousin 2. Cousin 2 is a man. Cousin 2 wants to fuck cousin 3. Cousin 3 is a man. Cousin 3 is me. Cousin 3 wants no part in any of this.

10. “My 46-year-old dad had sex with my 22-year-old cousin.”

My 46-year-old dad had sex with my 22-year-old cousin. Everyone knows, family is completely destroyed.

11. “My great-grandfather molested my grandmother and aunt.”

My great-grandfather molested my grandmother and aunt. When I was a child my father was concerned he was doing the same to me. My mother knew nothing at the time (neither did my father)—but he always had a bad feeling.

My grandfather cheated on his first wife A LOT, being a teacher at the middle school and a pillar of the community a lot of people knew. Including my aunt (same aunt as above), who was in her early teens. Women would approach her and ask intimate questions about my grandfather, wanting her to relay information to him, etc.

My step-grandmother (g-father’s second wife) was forced to have multiple abortions by her very abusive first husband, he also induced several by beating her badly enough that she miscarried.

My aunt gets drunk at family gatherings sometimes and spills her guts, that how I have all of the above information.

Oh and! and I was a surprise baby when my mom was 19. I was told by various family members that everyone told her to “just abort it” up until I was born.

12. “My family is crazy.”

My family is crazy. My mom married her second cousin (not my father), my father was molested by his stepfather, and my uncle tried to rob a pizza place.

13. “My family is bat shit.”

Everything. My family is bat shit. My dad’s (former) best friend knocked up two of my sisters (one was 16, the other 22) within months of each other. Apparently he’d been fucking both of them for over two years. Dad found out and beat the shit out of the 16-year-old sister and praised the 22-year-old, because that makes sense. She told her school counselor and Child Protection Services stepped in. Thus the long journey of everyone getting thrown into government custody. I was 17 at the time, so it didn’t matter much to me. I aged out and got a ton of benefits that I never earned—free college for life in the state of Texas, living assistance, Medicaid until I’m 25 just being a few. The only thing that bothered be about the entire ordeal was seeing my little brother go through it.

My mom’s a whore. Her and my dad had knock-down, drag-out fights for over 13 years before he got in a car accident that put him in a coma for 6 months…at which point she left him for his childhood best friend of 17 years, whom she’d been fucking for months. She’s a raging alcoholic and he’s a control freak to the highest nature. They have money though, and money goes far. My brother was returned to their custody, my sister and I aged out, and I get to watch from afar as my mom drinks herself to death and my brother is caught in the crossfire. He’s already been thrown from a vehicle she was behind the wheel of three times, and despite trying to have him live with me (which he prefers) it never works out.

Dad survived a coma, obviously, and suffers short-term memory loss and a stick up his ass.

My grandmother forced her other son into a lifetime in prison because she paid him 20 bucks to kill her husband.

My sister (the previously 16-year-old) had her kid and cleaned up her act for a while…but eventually left it with my mom and started doing meth. Cleaned up, found a sugar daddy on Craigslist, and fucked everything up again. She’s currently pregnant and living in my house—sober—with her daughter.

I’ve tried to cut ties with my family so many times.. But I can’t. It’s just not possible. My brother means the world to me and I could never leave him to the wolves, but there’s only so much you can do as a 21-year-old trying to get up on her own two feet.

I wish I knew nothing about my family. I’d rather live with the curiosity of who they could be than face the reality of this.

14. “My great-grandmother lived with, and slept with, her brother.”

My great-grandmother lived with, and slept with, her brother, my great-grandfather. They had ten children together, and basically all of them had mental issues ranging from depression to schizophrenia to pyromania. All but two of them died of suicide. It’s pretty gross.

15. “My parents had sex loudly and often when I was little.”

My parents had sex loudly and often when I was little. My bedroom was across the hall. I can never unhear that.

16. “I’ve always kind of wondered now if my dad is into dudes.”

When I was a snoopy little 10- or 12-year-old I would snoop through my dad’s room (parents divorced, he’s never dated or anything since, as far as I know)I found briefcase opened it and it was FULL of sex toys, MASSIVE dildos and anal beads of all kinds. Although, I know the reason of my parents’ divorce I’ve always kind of wondered now if my dad is into dudes.

17. “My grandfather saw my girlfriend naked before I did.”

My grandfather saw my girlfriend naked before I did.

After my grandfather passed away from multiple strokes I was asked to go through his belongings. I booted up his external hard drive and found odd documents about mind control, telekinesis, and oh lord, the biggest collection of porn. Probably over 10,000 photos judging by the size of the scroll bar. In the top row of them is a face that looks rather familiar… my girlfriend. She’s on her back getting plowed by her ex. Naturally the hard drive is immediately reformatted as I lose my mind. I had introduced my girlfriend to my grandfather a month prior to his passing. He seemed on edge around her…now I wonder if he recognized her. Two weeks and an anti-depressant prescription later I meet my new girlfriend, an amazing woman who I marry a year later.

My grandpa’s fapping led to my happy marriage. I don’t know how to feel about that.

18. “My brother was circumcised incorrectly.”

My brother was circumcised incorrectly and his scar swirls around his dick…

19. “My dad has casually told me how he plans to kill himself .”

My dad has casually told me how he plans to kill himself, give himself a high dose of insulin or use a shotgun. Before he told me, I had seen the shotgun leaned up against his bed, I was too afraid to go near it. He has cancer now and chemo seems to not be working, and I’m afraid of him killing himself. I asked him please don’t let that be the last memory of you. But on the other hand I’m not sure what I would do if I was facing a countdown to a miserable death. He’s been really happy lately though so maybe it will all be OK one way or another.

20. “Mom caught me watching piss porn once.”

Mom caught me watching piss porn once. (Yes, it’s my kink.) She then proceeded to tell me that my dad was into the same thing and that was part of why they divorced.

21. “My grandfather was a Nazi.”

My grandfather was a Nazi. I’m not kidding, he really was and he somehow managed to make it to Canada after the war. With fake documents (oddly no birth records forged records show him just popping into existence as a grown man) with a new name. He then moved to the States soon after, where he then started a family.

The crazy bastard even brought his Luger along which one of my uncles still have to this day. He died before I was even born but my aunts and uncles had shared the things he told them apparently he personally executed people. Was fluent in German and was not very find of minorities, especially Jews. So he was unremorseful for his actions to say the least.

I’m glad that I never got to know him and I am ashamed to be related to him. I honestly wish I didn’t even know about it. It’s odd to know my last name isn’t really my last name too because of this and I likely will die not knowing and perhaps that’s for the best. I’d rather not be able to find out actions of the monsters I am directly related to.

22. “[My dad] was looking for two teen or young adult lesbians to have a threesome with him.”

When I was 18 and my parents were still married, I found my dad’s profile on a hookup site. (My mom had been getting weird charges on her credit card and asked me to investigate.)

He was looking for two teen or young adult lesbians to have a threesome with him. Girls my age. Gross.

23. “My mom…would tell me entirely too much information about her latest flavor-of-the-month boyfriend.”

My mom had a thing (I say ‘had’ because we are estranged) where she would tell me entirely too much information about her latest flavor-of-the-month boyfriend…including her boyfriends’ penis sizes, how good they were in bed and other gross stuff I wish I could bleach from my brain. She was pretty bad about strutting around like a hot-to-trot peacock. Groans. TC mark

More from Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog Videos


    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/danielle-page/2014/09/8-guys-left-their-significant-others-because-of-how-crazy-their-families-were-heres-the-stories/ 8 Guys Left Their Significant Others Because Of How Crazy Their Families Were. Here’s The Stories. | Thought Catalog

      […] this: 13 Things You’re Doing Wrong In Bed, According To Guys Read this: 23 People Share Humiliating Family Secrets [NSFW] Read this: 5 Tips For Moving On From That Awful Breakup Read this: I Grew Up In An Organized Crime […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/danielle-page/2014/09/8-guys-left-their-significant-others-because-of-how-crazy-their-families-were-here-are-the-stories/ 8 Guys Left Their Significant Others Because Of How Crazy Their Families Were. Here Are The Stories. | Thought Catalog

      […] this: 13 Things You’re Doing Wrong In Bed, According To Guys Read this: 23 People Share Humiliating Family Secrets [NSFW] Read this: 5 Tips For Moving On From That Awful Breakup Read this: I Grew Up In An Organized Crime […]

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/rob-gunther/2014/10/5-secrets-ive-never-told-anyone-else-in-my-life/ 5 Secrets I’ve Never Told Anyone Else In My Life | Thought Catalog

      […] To Reducing Stress At Work Read this: 7 Weird Secrets Girls Can Only Tell Their Best Friends Read this: 23 People Share Humiliating Family Secrets [NSFW] Cataloged […]

    blog comments powered by Disqus