19 Men Share Stories of Being Raped By A Woman (NSFW)

11.“I froze, and just checked out in a dissociated state.”

Objectively, not terrible compared to other instances of abuse. Subjectively, it played on the abuse I went through as a child. Psychologically I wasn’t the mid 20s 6’1 220 pound dude present in the moment, I was that terrified 6 year old again. I froze, and just checked out in a dissociated state. I can’t really remember a timeline, but the images and sensations are burned in my mind. After effect was to effectively destroy any desire for sex or intimacy I may have had. Close to a decade later, still haven’t shaken it enough to try dating/etc. again.

12. “I just felt so defeated and I laid there like a corpse.”

I was 17 and dating a much older woman. She was batshit insane and I was depressed so I let things drag on for far too long, and through my clouded, depressed thoughts I realized I needed to break up with her if I wanted to get better. I went to her apartment to break up with her and she said that if I did she would kill herself. I was naive and fell for it and blamed myself for her deluded way of thinking and fell into her manipulations. She said she would kill herself if we didn’t fuck right then, to prove I still loved her and wanted her. I was young and thought that if I didn’t do this I’d essentially have someone’s blood on my hands. I couldn’t get it up naturally, but after awhile she got me erect and then she climbed on top of me. I just felt so defeated and I laid there like a corpse. She ground down on me for an hour, but it felt like forever. And even though I was much stronger and larger than her, she held my arms down. It hurt, and I winced with each downward movement she made. I just felt so apathetic and used and numb afterwards.

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