19 Men Share Stories of Being Raped By A Woman (NSFW)

7. “It’s scary, and emotionally draining.”

It’s scary, and emotionally draining. I was confused, and felt pressured. Not only that, but living with the stigma that men should be strong and not be so weak is a struggle as well. So I kept it internally sealed for a long time. It is strange no matter how much you try not to think about it you do. You can have this great day, or get really happy then a flood of memories invade you of that moment, and you feel this dread that builds at the base of your stomach. Obviously I still struggle sometimes….

I was told once that there is a thing called a “fear boner” I guess that could be the explanation. I was disconnected not in sync with my body, my brain was in over drive mode. So it did its own thing.

8. “I did not want her, did not want that intimacy, it was a violation of my space, my grief, my mind.”

Well, I was (arguably) raped by my wife when she wanted a second child, and I did not… it was unpleasant in many ways. We’d lost our (original second) baby at birth, six months before, and were on the edge of divorce, and she wanted to keep me around. We had gone on a holiday. We barely spoke, she blamed me for the death. She’s not a nice person at the best of times, and this was one of the worst of times…

However, when she wants to be seductive, she is. Extraordinarily silky, and while my mind was trying to crawl out the back of my brain in a kind of numb disgust, my body was ready for action. Her on top, me pinned down, we conceived our second child.

At the time I was sure he wasn’t mine, that the insemination was cover for something else. That was an overpowering feeling, which went away when I got my kids DNA tested last year (my divorce lawyer’s advice), and found they are all mine. She was then, is still, pathologically unfaithful, so whether it was luck or planning that I fathered her kids, I can’t tell.

It is a horrid feeling when your body betrays you, whether it’s impotence or the opposite. I did not want her, did not want that intimacy, it was a violation of my space, my grief, my mind. It was a theft of my sperm, much like man-on-female rape is a theft of the woman’s precious sexuality.

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