111.

Tonya Harding. Looking at pics of her during the Winter Olympics, good lord! She was crazy-buff, and way cuter than that horse-toothed Kerrigan woman. Then Tonya got ridiculed, went away, and did celebrity boxing or something.

112.

Cher Lloyd that chavvy little slut. Marry me.

113.

Seth Green. When I tell people he has been my crush since middle school fifteen years ago they think I’m nuts.

114.

The temp worker on Office Space that teases Micheal Bolton … thick curvy redhead … that’s my kryptonite.

115.

The crazy doctor from American Horror Story Asylum. I found out he’s like 70 or something and I’m 18. It freaks me out a lot.

116.

Sigh. Gadget from Rescue Rangers. She’s everything I’d want in a woman, except she’s a cartoon rodent.

117.

I wanted to bone Penny Marshall before I knew what boning was. Whenever I would watch Laverne & Shirley as a kid, a great warm tingly feeling would inhabit my loins, causing an embarrassing little tent spike to protrude from my junior tighty whities. Sure Cindy whatsherface is much cuter, but I didn’t notice that until watching her eat French fries in American Graffiti much later in life. All I knew is I wanted to do things with that buck-toothed milk-and-Pepsi drinking bitch Laverne. Naked things.

118.

Bam Margera. Total douchebag, drug user, and all around horrible person. I know it’s wrong. But something about that hot mess makes me say aw yiss.

119.

Ugh, brainfart + too lazy to google it = Lead singer of Korn. Dude with dreadlocks? Sometimes wore a kilt? Something takes a part of me, indeed. I have no idea what he looks like now and I prefer him in 1999 where he belongs.

120.

John Travolta’s female character from Hairspray, was watching that movie and got a huge boner thinking it was a female.