20 People Remember “That Weird Kid” From School

Found on AskReddit.
Pressmaster / (Shutterstock.com)
Pressmaster / (Shutterstock.com)

1. Giant Backpack Kid

Every school has a short, skinny boy with a giant backpack who runs to all his classes by himself.

2. Compulsive Masturbator

Masturbated 7 times during the day until he eventually burst a blood vessel in his penis. at school. Paramedics had to cart him out of the bathroom. I see him now walking around town, just walking, always walking…

3. Compulsive Ass-Slapper

In elementary school, there was a kid who would run around and slap his ass (as if he was a horse getting his ass slapped by it’s rider, but he was also the rider?). It was interesting. After a while he had a whole crew of minotaurs. I one time asked why they slap themselves when they run, and their leader said “I don’t know what you mean” and then he ran away, slapping his ass.

4. Pushed the Teachers

He started off by trying to see how far he could push the teachers. He didn’t wear shoes for about 6 months. It got pushed further and further. He’d start to bring a cane to school. Turns up with a coffee plunger and starts to make coffee in class. It eventually ended when he turned up in his pyjamas for a week.

We had a pretty lenient school.

5. Hitler Freak

Oh man, we had a weird kid that was obsessed with Hitler and the Nazis. Granted this was in like 4th and 5th grade so no one really knew the importance of that. Whenever people would talk to him or ask him a question, he would respond with some variation of “Hitler would do…” Imagine a fucked up version of the WWJD bracelets and you have this kid. For his birthday one year he invited all the boys in the class over for a sleepover. When we arrived, he said that his parents were gonna leave soon to get the pizza and cake and then we could shoot fireworks. So to 10 year me, this sounds badass. Wrong. We go outside and wait for him to bring the goods out when we notice he’s dragging fireworks and a large box. Inside the box was a stray cat that he was holding hostage for some messed up reason. This fucker then creepily explains that his dad thinks all strays are the devil and drops a lit mortar shell into the box with the cat. I turn and run for my fucking life and manage to get behind a tree when the shell goes off. I guess cats really do have 9 lives because this damn cat managed to run out of the blown up box and into the bushes. I cried a lot that night…..When my parents picked me up the next day, it was like being rescued from POW camp in North Korea.

TLDR Psycho Hitler loving kid tortured animals and laughed about it.

Edit: He is now in jail for stabbing his college roommate a few years ago over a $50 garbage fee.

6. Would Shit Himself Almost Weekly

He would shit his pants and act like nothing happened. Almost weekly.

We were in highschool.. Like.. at least get up and go to the bathroom. Dont just shit there all day and deny it. We lost count how many times the teachers realized it and had to escort him out of class.

He once actually got into a really heated argument in the hallway about how he didnt shit his pants. Apperently a little turd fell out of the bottom of his pants near the end of it and he stepped on it so they wouldnt see.

It was like a grenade went off (so I hear) and made it smell that much worse.

7. Outlandish Liar

This kid would just tell the most outlandish lies. Keep in mind this wasn’t like kindergarten-ish “MY DAD CAN LIFT 4000 POUNDS HES SO STRONG”, this was in middle school. Some of the more memorable ones:
* Claimed his cokehead high school drop-out older brother was in the Matrix (this was right around when that movie came out) but edited out of the final version for beating up all the actors.
* Claimed his father (a lawyer I think) was actually both a deep-cover CIA assassin and the basis for a number of John Grisham novels.
* Said he was (amongst other things) a master in a secret form of martial arts he both discovered in China (he’s never been there) and improved upon, a fluent Japanese speaker (exchange student from Osaka ruled that out), that he had sex with the token “hot girl” in our class, that he had an IQ of 500 (yeah, I know) and as such had psychic abilities like telekinesis (when asked to demonstrate, he can’t because he is a government weapon that is closely monitored), that he was a pro skateboarder (though he knew nothing about skateboarding), and tons more stuff I’m forgetting.

The problem wasn’t that he lied about stuff to make people like him, it was that he would get extremely defensive if questioned about it, or if he was confronted with evidence that he was lying, he still wouldn’t admit anything, and would usually get violent (not much of a threat seeing as he was a short chubby kid).

Like one time during lunch, he was faced with no way out of one of his lies. He started screaming and crying, then in the class immediately afterwards, he got up in front of the class with a mechanical pencil and threatened to “stab myself in the neck and die of lead poisoning”. So then someone in the back of the class yells out “BUT PENCILS ARE GRAPHITE” and the whole class completely lost it. Then he ran out and was threatening to drown himself in the water fountain.

Kid obviously had problems, but it was just so hard to get along with him.

8. Crybaby

• He cried about everything. He cried the loudest when he got yelled at, during violent historical documentaries, and when the class pet fell into the trash compacter.
• He also carried around these video game guide books he’d read in class, which was odd enough. He’d make it worse by reading anime comics manga while he walked through the halls instead of watching where he was going.
• He once threw up on a girl. He threw up on purpose, he just didn’t mean to do it on her.
• By far the weirdest thing he did was ask our history teacher why the US government didn’t recruit alchemists to turn lesser metals into gold, or use dwarves and their expert mining skills to extract it more efficiently from mines.

He was pretty clearly Autistic, and everyone knew it. They didn’t care when they made fun of him (and neither did I, regretfully).

9. Masturbated While Dancing

“That Weird Kid” got that distinction at our school dance. When the dance floor was packed, “That Weird Kid” made his way to the middle of the dance floor. He started dancing and then, for some reason, he whipped his dick out and started jerking off.

10. Cat-Torturer

• Stapled his tongue and ears.
• Pooped on the floor of the classroom.
• Made his sister stick a fork in an electrical outlet.
• Grabbed his cat and stuck a fork in the electrical outlet.

Sadly, he got killed last year after telling a gang member to fuck off. Oh, Erick.

11. Math Genius/Masturbator

Had a kid that
• Masturbated in class
• Masturbated in bathroom
• Masturbated in elevator
• Masturbated in oh hell with it, he probably solely responsible for anything sticky at that school
• Made Hand puppets during class
• Had “behavior seizures” where he would stand up and go crazy/screaming/hitting (we were told they were seizures)
• Play with action figures in middle of class
• Could solve ANY math problem in his head.

He was eventually removed from school after he had a “seizure” that caused him to smash out all the glass cabinets/chemicals during chemistry class. He was finally deemed to dangerous.

12. Drama King

told everyone he lost his virginity at 12 by hugging a girl and rolling around, used to tell us all he was secretly the best singer ever but the principle had said he was never allowed to sing in school because he was so good, proclaimed him self the drama (subject) king and would always shout it while head banging oh and he kept going to an under 18s discos well into his 20s because “the young girls love them some drama king”

13. Trench Coat Mafioso

He used to wear a trench coat to every class, had the greasiest hair and facial hair, drew pictures of people getting stabbed, and would just sit there staring at you for 20 minutes.

I’d love to say he was a great kid actually, but he wasn’t. He got suspended several times for grabbing girls butts on the stairs, and then kicked out for groping someone.

14. Vampire Girl

She pretended to be a vampire and would hiss and bite people. I had to befriend her because I tutored her in Biology. She wouldn’t listen otherwise. My friend started dating her. A really fucking terrible idea. She would get possessive of him, and said I couldn’t hang out with him. My friend’s sister is my best friend. I explained that, and she told me she would hurt me if I went over to hang out.

The big finale was she gave my friend a handjob in the middle of class. They both got into trouble. Friend tried to kill himself after she started rumors that he raped her (which he didn’t). The bitch ended up biting and yelling at a few more people before being pulled out of the school. There were more weird kids, but she stood out most.

15. Sheep Girl

There was this girl in high school who was obsessed with sheep. She wore sheep ears, a bell, and her binder was covered with pictures of sheep. She made sheep noises all the time and even in between sentences. If anyone tried to touch the ears or bell, she would bite them. She said that her soul is actually a sheep’s, but she is stuck inside a “disgusting human body.”

16. Chainsaw Killer/Penis Head

First and foremost we had two. The first one had autism. He had to have his own cubby in each classroom or he would flip a shit. No joke, the school made special storage space for this one student (in eighth grade…). He would draw pictures of himself chainsawing fellow students and faculty. And he stalked this one girl for a solid 5 years until she moved to go to college.

Oh boy, second one shaved everything on his head. Eyebrows, hair, and eyelashes. This dude looked like a straight up penis. On top of that he had a leap frog in 7th grade which he kept a hit list in. His mom was 2nd on the list… Once the school got word of this they expelled his ass.

17. Dinosaur Girl

Always wore jeans with an elastic waistband, walked like a dinosaur (head bobbing, elbows back, wrists limp), like to shout ‘pads!’ before laughing like Patrick Star before throwing her her menstrual pads at the boys.

I once saw her at a movie theater and hid. It was like Jurassic Park, except I don’t think she knew how to open doors.

18. Caped Crusader

He wore a fucking cape to school. Bad ass yet sad at the same time.

19. Ass Invader

The weird kid that I knew ran with his arms flailing behind him, spoke incredibly fast, and did some naruto thing and stuck his fingers up peoples butts…this was in 5th grade

20. Star Wars Giant

He was a giant who complained about everything. He had asthma, so that was a factor to his complaining, we didn’t think that was to weird. But he was also a super geek, think obsessive about Star Wars (I mean actual obsessive). He could throw a mean punch if he wanted to as well, he was strong like that. But he literally is a super geek. But nobody wanted to mess with him regardless.

TC mark

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