SHOCKER: Alabama Court Rules In Favor Of Consensual Sodomy

Ollyy / (
Ollyy / (

In what can only be described as a victory for sexual deviance and godless perversions, an Alabama court has ruled that anal and oral sex is legal between adults so long as it’s consensual.

I guess if two people agree to burglarize a house, it’s OK, too, right? I mean, they agreed, so it’s consensual, yes?

In this case, I think it’d be better if it wasn’t consensual, because at least one person—the one who didn’t want to do it—was in their right mind at the time the act occurred. But I guess that’s why God created Hell.

Oral sex is horrible, but anal sex is even worse, because in almost all cases, it smells worse. What planet are we living on when the judicial branch of this grand old state in Dixie rules that it’s OK for people to stick things up one another’s doody-holes?

By the way, why does Sodom get all the attention, while Gomorrah is largely forgotten? The word “sodomy” applies to both oral and anal sex. Why didn’t Gomorrah get any sexual acts named after it? If I was from Gomorrah, this would really bother me. It probably would feel like how the other two Supremes felt about Diana Ross, or how the two guys who got crucified on each side of Jesus felt about our Lord and Savior.

What’s next—legalized bestiality? Pedophile marriage? Fisting and felching on TV sitcoms? When will the madness end?

I only know one song about Alabama, and I don’t think these are the lyrics:

Sweet Home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home Alabama
Where two consenting adults can play with their poo

This sends a horrible message to the kids, so it’s a good thing that kids these days are unable to read. America, you need to take a good hard look in the mirror and then shoot yourself. Excuse me while I go throw up. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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