Just when I thought things were going well, it ended.
We talked about being together forever, you told me I was the love of your life and that you were never going to leave. Not like the others, but in reality you were just like them, if not worse.
You made me feel like we were going to start a new life together, like we were going to grow old together, you made me feel like we were forever, so why did you leave just as things started to get serious? Were you afraid of commitment?
Or did you find someone better?
When we started opening up to each other and it started to feel like this was going well, you left, you left and left me with a broken heart, you didn’t even explain yourself, you just left without saying a single word to me, you made me feel worthless, you made me feel like I was not good enough, you made me rethink every step I took in our “relationship”. If that’s what you want to call it. I started to question myself… what did I do wrong? Why didn’t I see this coming nor do anything to fix it? If I had done this instead of that you would have stayed. Pretty pathetic huh?
To be honest; It ended just as fast as it started, so why did I get so hooked on you? Was it because of the way you made me laugh until I cried? Was it because of that smile of yours that appeared every time you saw me? Is it because you made me feel like I was the only girl you cared about? Was it because you called me “beautiful” or “your girl”? It really does make me wonder why?
Maybe it was, what I know now the lies you told me.
This whole relationship seemed too good to be true, it was as my fairytale came true, you were everything I was looking for. Or that’s what I thought anyway. You made me feel so special, loved and cherished but now all I feel is hatred, anger and sadness. The worst thing is, I still cant get you out of my head, everything I see, do, the music I listen to reminds me of you. Why is it so hard for me to forget you? Is it because I haven’t been able to forgive you?
Or maybe I just don’t want to forget you, maybe this will teach me a lesson and become useful to me.
I guess I’m still holding onto hope, not that you will come back but hope that one day I will find someone that will be truthful, hopeful that one day I will meet someone that will love me like I loved you, hopeful that one day someone will say “forever” and actually mean it.
Someone permanent, not temporary.