To understand what love mean, you have to first understand what it isn’t.
There are a lot of ‘pseudo-love’ out there and the most confusing is lust. The thing about lust is that it’s sexual in nature, but it is powerful and intense. This attraction is entirely superficial and based on instant chemistry, you’ll notice that we tend to lust after people we hardly know; cute girls and guys with flick perfect pictures and life on Instagram. This way, it’s comfy for us to fantasy about the person. For us, they have no flaws and they are completely perfect.
Love is different. Yeah, attraction might be a factor, it might have been what brought you two together, but unlike lust, love is way deeper than the physical and it doesn’t come immediately; you have to grow to love someone.
Love is centered on trust, friendship, commitment and care.
You’ve seen this person’s flaws and you care about the person nonetheless. When you’re together you know you’re with your best friend, you’re comfortable and you’re yourself completely, no pretense.
If it doesn’t feel good, it isn’t love.
Love should lift you and make you glow. If it makes you feel insecure and spiteful it cannot be love.
If it doesn’t make you want to strive to be a better person, it isn’t love.
If you’re with someone who makes you want to do something self-destructive, you should definitely run away.
Love is a shared feeling between two people who are concerned with making each other happy.
Yes, I’m saying love works better when it’s requited.
So if you’re still not sure its love, answer these questions
- Do you feel total serenity when you’re together with your partner?
- Are you more of yourself when you’re with your partner than when you’re with anybody else?
- When you get jealous, is it usually brief because you trust your partner would never do anything to hurt you?
- Does the object of your affection make you feel good and special about yourself?
- Does your partner tell you that your deep feelings are returned in kind?
- Do you and your partner not feel the need to test each other’s loyalties or feelings?
- Is Sex in the relationship mutual without the slightest hint of persuasion or blackmail?
- Your partner has never asked you directly or indirectly to choose between him and any of your loved ones?
- Do you always try to resolve conflicts quickly?
- Do you both agree that it is important to be expressive and communicate your true feelings?
If your answer is yes to at least 8 of these questions, then congratulations you must be in love.