Here’s Why I Think Complete Gender Equality Is Unattainable

Jeremy Cai
Jeremy Cai

I don’t know about you but I’ve been hearing about these a lot these days, and here are my thoughts on gender equality.

I’m female, I know how it feels to be subjected to play the role of kitchen-stayer or be seen as just a child-bearer, I strongly believe that whatever a man can do, I can (also) do; but I will sincerely acknowledge that I mean this when it comes to intellectuality and not physical strength.

If we want gender equality because we want to eradicate the school of thought some people have that women are not supposed to be part of decision making, that they should not be allowed to even go outside, drive cars or let alone play important roles in the government, that all we should do is sit, cook, satisfy sexually, breed and look pretty and do as we are told, then I’m all for gender equality.

My religion (Christianity) tells me to be submissive to my husband, and my husband is supposed to protect me. I will obey this if I want to. And it will be crazy for my society to tell me to live in subjugation because I am a woman; I am equally as intelligent (if not more intelligent) than a man. If a nation wants to grow, they have to be willing to know that women can even be more productive than men, they have to accept us as equals, not look down on us as lesser beings.

In my opinion, men should do the manly stuff and women do the womanly stuff; because we want to, because it’s what we’re supposed to do, not because society forces us to. And women have the right to be Presidents; likewise, men have the right to be stay-at-home dads.

Gender equality – 100% or less?

As I said before, I’m hearing a lot of talk about 100% gender equality and it really has me thinking, like, are we ladies now trying to take over all the roles of men in the society? I personally do not think 100% gender equality is attainable, 70% maybe but never 100% and here is why:

We females are rather selfish beings, we love attentions, having the door opened, getting the chair pulled out for us, and in this Nigeria, we don’t mind guys taking us out and showering us with gifts. I know a lot of feminists out there are all “I can take care of myself. Independent woman.” Please be sincere, we love being pampered once in a while by someone other than ourselves. We love having a manly figure in our lives; even the lesbians have someone who plays the role of a man.

Whether we like it or not, God created men to be head of the family, protector, men are supposed to pay bills; they are supposed to do way harder things than women. (Even in simple things like dancing, you see men do more ‘lifting’ than women)  That’s the truth; we know this is the truth, why do we want to change it?

Okay, what a man can do a woman can do it better right? Are we willing to take up plumbing, bricklaying, be NEPA a.k.a PHCN workers that take ladders and cut down electric wires? Keke drivers?  Soak-away pit diggers and drainers? Cattle rearers? Whether we like it or not, these might always be a man’s job, even if we are better plumbers, men would always be the ones supposed to plumber.

But a quick question: is it in the constitution that most of these jobs are men’s?

NO! I don’t think so. Ever since we’ve been born, it’s just been that way. That’s what men are supposed to do. We just have to accept the fact that there are always some things more acceptable for guys to do but when women do it people start side talking, especially in Nigeria, we haven’t reached that level of ‘civilization’ yet. We will, we might eventually, but we haven’t reached it yet.  It doesn’t make some things right, but it is how it has always been and how it is.

We want gender equality, but how many of us are willing to go on one knee to propose?

We want gender equality but how many of us will take a guy out on an occasion that isn’t special without sneering at ourselves or by close friends?

Will you cut the grass or mow the lawn, lift heavy furniture and so on without looking for a man to help you?

These don’t make you any less human or degraded, it’s just been the work of men since the world was created. That is what our society directly or indirectly taught us. If you see a woman lifting blocks of cement in a construction site tell me you don’t feel instant sympathy for her, that you don’t go all “Wow, what a strong woman” why don’t you feel that way for the man who has been doing it for decades?

Nobody told any woman not to be a mechanic or to be in the market lifting heavy bags of rice or garri, even wheel barrow pushers; men are just stronger and so naturally known to be heavy lifters. There are strong women too, no doubt, body builders and all but to be sincere we still see them as rare, even mystical beings. Some would even wonder why you would choose muscles instead of the soft skin God gave us.  Tell me, how many of you have seen a female body builder in Nigeria and not thought “Who will marry this woman? She can beat up a man.” Thoughts like these;  that a woman is not complete until she is married, that we have to have our own husband and children if we want to be fully accepted in this society is part of the reason we will never achieve 100% gender equality. And I sincerely think that thought is going nowhere in a long while.

Most females crave for 100% equality so bad but remember:

A lot of women are already playing manly roles in the family, whether they choose to admit it or not, it’s not easy being a father, a good one. There will always be some things a man will be better than a woman at and vice versa.

God created men and women to complement each other.  And that’s great. We were not supposed to play both roles alone.

Leave some manly jobs to men please, let’s not completely emasculate them.

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