To The Boy Who Broke Me: I Will Be Happy Again Someday, Without You

It was you, it was always you.

I would have given everything for you, and you knew it. You took advantage of me, time and time again. I stayed through it all, though. Three long years of bullshit and I never left.

Everyone always told me how bad you were. But I always turned a blind eye.

Why?

Because I fucking loved you. The sad part? I still love you.

You have a kid now and you seem happy. And that’s good for you. But what about me? I cry myself to sleep every night. I’m drunk off my ass every chance I get, trying to forget you.

Everyone tells me to get over you – you never deserved me. But it’s hard to let go of someone you love. Someone who has bits and pieces of you you’ll never get back.

But it’s my own fault. I knew how you were. But I still let myself fall. So this, this is my goodbye. The few choice words I never got to say:

So, fuck you.

And thank you.

Thank you for leaving me. Thank you for lying to me repeatedly. Thank you for making me feel important, then breaking me down. Thank you for breaking me. Thank you for making me the mess I am.

It’s all okay.

Because I’ll be back in a few months to thank you again. To thank you for making me stronger. To thank you for making me realize what I need. And to give you one final thank you for teaching me the difference between love and lust.

I will be happy.

Whether you care or not.