I’m Not Lazy, I’m Depressed

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Nik Shuliahin / Unsplash

Waking up at past noon becomes commonplace when things seem pointless. You lay in bed for hours and hours after you wake up just looking up at the ceiling or scrolling through social media for the seventh time. Just the thought of getting out of bed seems too much like a chore. It just doesn’t seem worth it. Sure, eventually you make it out of bed (usually by default cause you become hungry or have to go to the bathroom). After you’re done with whatever you’re doing though it usually ends up with you laying on the couch binge watching Netflix for the rest of the day.

As you lay on the couch and look around at your dirty apartment you realize you should probably be doing something productive. Dishes are starting to pile up and the trash has been neglected to be taken out once again. You’re perfectly aware that you’ve been neglecting your responsibilities, and you might even feel bad about it. This fails to motivate, though. Your mind and body somehow work against your desires to actually do something and you continue to just lay there on the couch.

Your phone rings. It’s your best friends texting you to go out again. This had to be the millionth time they tried to get you out of the house this week. Instead of getting back with them to hang out you just look at the message. You’re starting to run out of excuses as to why you can’t go out. Yes, going out sounds like it would be fun, but it just doesn’t seem like it will help any. You still feel apathetic and numb. Going out may be a band-aid solution, but it’s not going to fix how your brain is making you feel. Plus going out is expensive anyways. You reply back saying you just weren’t feeling well, and even though they know you’re lying they go along with it anyways and tell you to feel better.

Hobbies that you were once so passionate about have fallen by the wayside. Remember how much fun you had when writing music? Or how you found yourself having the time of your life when playing baseball? Those times were great, but they just seem more of a chore now. It’s not like you lost passion for those things. The motivation you used to have just isn’t there anymore. The will to do these things just seemed to vanish overnight.

It may well not be you though. It’s easy to write yourself off as lazy or someone who just lost the will to care. The mind is a powerful and sometimes destructive tool, and believe it or not it could be playing a cruel trick on you at the moment. So what’s wrong with you? Are you really this lazy? As in a lot of cases like this you may not be lazy, you may be depressed… TC mark

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