It should have ended many times before, but somehow we managed to stay intertwined in each other’s lives because of false hope and delusions. I wish we had met at a different time in our lives. But we didn’t.
Instead, I met you when you were broken and cutting everyone around you with all your pieces. I met you when you weren’t ready to share your heart with me.
I sometimes wonder if I had met someone else if our story would have just been a chapter, instead of a book. But I never did. I only cared about you. And you left me wounded and bleeding, as I ran after you over and over again.
Time has passed and I have grown. My wounds have finally scabbed over and I know it’s time to let you go. I have to let you go. All the odds are against us. We will never be. I have to keep telling myself that.
This reality is one of the most disappointing realizations of my young life. I am sad because I truly thought it would someday work out. I wanted to believe that somehow we would figure it out and stumble back to each other. But I now have the clarity and maturity to know that it won’t happen that way.
I am sad because you are finally starting to figure it out. You are finally taking accountability for all the horrible decisions you’ve made. You’re starting to put yourself back together one piece at a time. I see flickers of the person I knew was in there all along. And I am sad because I know it’s too late, to make a difference for us. I need to get going.
For if I don’t, I fear I will never be able to make room for someone else in my life. I desperately need someone else in my life. I can no longer attach my happiness to you. When you were around there was more rain than sunshine.
You consumed so much of affection, I don’t even know if what I felt for you was real, because I have nothing to compare it to. I need to experience what a healthy relationship is like. And I need to feel what it’s like to be someone’s first option.
I am trying to understand why the universe brings people together to only tear them apart. It seems so cruel. I am hoping the universe is trying to be generous to me.
Because she knows there is another character waiting to write some of my story. Whatever the reason, it is still hard. It is hard to recognize you aren’t the one for me. I get teary-eyed when I listen to songs that make me think of you. But I know it will get easier, it has to get easier
I am thankful that you finally gave me closure; because for many that is rarely guaranteed. You kissed the wounds that you had given me and said you were sorry. You spoke the thoughts that I knew you were thinking all along. We held each other and your lips tenderly kissed my forehead. I looked into your eyes, one last time, and then I turned and walked away. I would be lying if I didn’t say I will tuck a piece of you deep in my heart. But for now, I know that this is the end of our story.