How many times do you make negative thoughts about your appearance, your body, your weight, your education, your financial status, whatever it is that bothers you? Feeling self-conscious and judging yourself in a negative way it’s more common than you think. The idea of feeling comfortable in your own skin is a simple one- you can learn accepting, even appreciating, who you are. And you can do that and be who you are without worrying about what others think.
These are some basic ways to start feeling comfortable in your skin and practicing self-acceptance:
Pay attention to how you talk about yourself.
That’s your starting point. How do you talk to yourself? Are you supportive, gentle, encouraging, and positive? Or are you harsh, negative, judgmental, and overcritical? Learn to change the way you talk about and to yourself. In your inner dialogue, speak to yourself the way you would to a loved one. Remember that yourself is your best friend and ally.
Set boundaries to body-shaming conversations.
The way you think and talk of your body has nothing to do with how your body is. It has to do more with your perceptions and assessments of what “should” be. This type of thinking presents a major problem- you always chase something that you can’t attain. You keep setting higher standards because you don’t feel secure in your body. Start differently. Learn to accept your physical flaws. Accept and acknowledge your body the way it is. Feel grateful for it serves you, it carries you, it’s one part of who you are, but not the total “you.” Stop the body hating language. Take care of your body. If you don’t like it, make the necessary changes. Remember that change is slow. Learn to love your body along the way. Dress the way you like, in a manner that makes you feel strong and beautiful.
Invest in your own happiness.
What makes your heart sing? What gives you joy? Do more of the things you love. The little things. The meaningful things. The unexpected things. The purposeful things. The things that define you. Don’t postpone them for when “I’m thinner,” “I’m fitter,” “I feel better,” “I am in a good mood,” etc. In fact, especially if you feel down it’s the best time to practice what gives you happiness.
Embrace your uniqueness.
Accept that you are your unique, one-of-a-kind self. Embrace your personality. It’s certain that you have strong and weak points. Don’t over-focus on what you don’t like. Capitalize on your strengths and try to improve your shortcomings.
Learn to be with yourself without freaking out.
Seriously. Treat yourself as a good pal. Stay home and listen to some music. Or read a self-improvement article. Or do yoga. Or take a walk on the beach. Learn to be with yourself without constantly worrying why you aren’t with friends or what others might think if they see you by yourself. Being by yourself doesn’t mean you are alone. It means that you value your own company and find it worthwhile.
Stop worrying too much about what others think of you.
Instead focus on your personal development and self-improvement. No matter what you do, others will have an opinion of you that’s not related 100% to what you have done but to how they feel and how they are. In other words, remember that it’s not always an objective opinion that they have, but it’s subjective. And you shouldn’t worry about it too much.
Embrace your imperfection.
Nobody’s perfect is one of the most useful clichés to remember! It allows you to accept what is and change what is within your control. There isn’t a set standard of “perfection” that everybody has to live up to; different people have different standards and that’s OK. What matters is to find your standards and maintain your chosen level of existence and performance.
At least acknowledge that most people at some point, when tired, sad, mad, or after a failure start doubting and second-guessing themselves. It’s natural and it goes away!
Know your values.
Your values are part of your essence, they guide your choices and behavior. In order to find them start answering a simple question- What’s important to you? To be accepted? To be ambitious? To be popular? To be recognized? Secure? Creative? Free? Original? The list goes on and on. Spell out your values and see how you can incorporate them in your daily life for a sense of fulfillment.
Forgive yourself for past mistakes.
Yes, you ‘ve made them. So, what? They are in the past. Even if they still affect you today in some way, choose to treat them as learning experiences. Take whatever lesson you can from past mistakes. Use them to “prove” to yourself that you survived them. Now you are resilient. Keep going.
Let go of the past.
Emotional pain is part of life. If you decide to hold on to it you feed it and only manage to make it bigger and stronger. If you acknowledge its presence, how it affected you, how you had to live with it, you can decide that it’s time to let go.
Make small changes and remember that they add up.
Even the longest journey starts with a small step, says a Chinese proverb to remind us that we need to start small. Most people fail to accomplish what they want because they see where they stand and where they want to be and feel overwhelmed. Start small and steady.
Figure out who you want to be.
Have you answered this question yet? What motivates you? What type of life do you want for yourself? I don’t mean simply in terms of career or financial status, but in the more general sense, how do you want to live your life? remember that the way you live your life today sets the stage of who you will be tomorrow. There’s always a choice. Start today.
Maintain a positive attitude.
Accept that mistakes, failures, obstacles, hardships are all part of life. believe in your inner strength and determination. Maintain a positive attitude and an optimistic outlook. Things will get better.
Use a positive self-affirmation every morning.
“Today I choose inner strength and joy,” “I love and accept myself,” “Today I make my life the way I want it,” “I feel powerful, confident and full of energy.”
Never, ever doubt that you are a unique, lovable, important person who deserves to feel good and have the best life.