8 Things You Should Absolutely Never Say To Your Friend Going Through A Breakup

They say time heals all wounds and that’s not wrong. Old memories fade and are replaced with new, shinier ones. One day you wake up and the past relationships feel like a distant dream, and that’s not a bad thing. It all comes down to this: we live, we learn (and we don’t discredit feelings).
The Break-Up
The Break-Up

1. “You’re too good for him anyways.”

Unless your significant other was genuinely a horrible or abusive person, while this is a nice self-esteem boost, it really doesn’t go very far.

2. “You should be/ are stronger than that.”

When are people going to accept it is okay to feel sad and angry and upset and whatever other feelings someone is feeling when they get their heart broken? Sadness is not a sign of weakness; being honest with one’s emotions is the strongest thing someone can do, when the only thing they want to do is numb them.

3. “You don’t need him/her.”

If we want to get technical, people do need other people. It’s right here in Maslow’s Hiearchy of Needs. If by some miracle you have managed to miss a lesson about the hierarchy of needs, level 3 is belonging. We need to feel needed, loved and a part of something greater than ourselves.

If this person made them feel loved and special, then yes, they do need them.

4. “Just accept it.”

I would not even call this advice. This statement is cold and unwarranted. You would not encourage a friend to give up on a passion if it wasn’t working out they way they originally wanted it to. So why should they give up so easily on a relationship they invested a future into?

5. “Get over him/her already.”

Ok, so this one is tricky. Yes, if you have been trying to make it work with someone for years and it’s still not working out, it’s probably a sign you should move on. Getting over someone can be an arduous process. It’s personal to each person that goes through a serious breakup. It takes time; do not push someone to move on before they are ready. It will only end in anger and tears.

6. “You’re overreacting.”

Unless you were somehow a third wheel in a relationship, you really don’t have any insight into it. There is no wrong way or right way to deal with a breakup (short of being self-destructive or destructive to others). No one wrote a guidebook for it. Let your friend deal with the situation and react in whatever way feels right to them.

7. “Oh no what happened?? There’s no way you can make it work??”

They probably don’t feel like ripping their heart out again and talk about it in great details and they have probably already covered all the bases with their significant other. You just need to be there. Be present. Your friend is counting on you for support, so don’t dig for juicy details unless they are willingly being shared.

8. “There’s plenty of fish in the sea!”

If you’ve been heartbroken, you know it often feels like you will never meet anyone else that “gets you,” the way this person did. We know you’re not wrong, but it seems unrealistic at the time and just thinking about starting to date again makes us want to roll over and not get out of bed for about a year. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

East coast raised, West coast living. Always looking for the next great adventure.

Keep up with Liza on dressed-in-daydream.tumblr.com

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