On January 28, 2016, my father passed away due to complications from cancer. I was beyond blessed to have 33 years with one of the most selfless, kind, and intelligent men that ever walked this planet.
This Sunday, June 19th, is not only Father’s Day, but also my father’s birthday; he would have been 74. I’m completely aware that I’m not the only one who’s lost their father, or going through similar heartache for the first time this Sunday and because of that, I want to share my feelings. I want others to know you are not alone.
I imagine that my social media newsfeeds will be overflowing with pictures, sentiments, and memes celebrating fathers both new and old. For my own self-care, I will not be on social media that day. I’m not bitter, and it’s not that I don’t wish fathers out there a happy day, but I can’t emotionally handle it, and that’s okay. Sometimes we need to do things for ourselves, so that we can process and cope accordingly.
My husband will also be celebrating the day, as we have a child of our own. Normally, he doesn’t make a big deal of holidays that celebrate him, even his birthday. Normally, I try and change that and make a big to-do, but not this time. I will take Sunday to reflect on my life, the one I shared with my father, who worked two jobs to support his family and provide everything we needed.
This Sunday, I will go through photo albums, cry over the pictures of him making silly faces, of him playing with my son, whom he had a deep connection with. I will allow myself to feel the pain that I’ve been avoiding for months. I will allow myself to connect with his spirit, and embrace the memories we shared, despite the immense, gut wrenching pain I expect to experience.
I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful support system, and I plan on using it this weekend.
For those that don’t have that support, I want you to know that I will be there for you. I’m providing my Twitter (@LizaWrites19) and my DM’s are open. You can also email me: LizaWrites19@gmail.com. I want to be there for you, as so many have been there for me. I want to help you through this awful time, because I know you need it, just like I do.
This weekend, take time for yourself, shut your phone off, and let your heart feel what it needs to feel: the unconditional love from a father that’s no longer here.