What Unfinished Business Looks Like With You

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Cristina Gottardi / Unsplash

it’s never letting go
and when they do go,
wondering when you will see them again, or if you should have even
met them in the first place

it’s casually texting them hello
or sometimes a good morning
and haunting communication because you know it’s the wrong
thing to do
it’s waiting four months and texting them hello again,
wondering if they, too, also stay awake at night thinking about you
or if they lie down next to someone else they consider significant
asking them anything you can about life, their work their job
anything you can to find out something, anything about them
even if you asked the same thing months ago

it’s running into them again,
one day, one year, two years later
feeling the same way you did when you first met
being nervous, wondering if they’ve noticed they way you’ve changed
trying to find everything that has changed with them
yet noticing that they are still the same person you can’t forget
and nothing, nothing between you has changed

it’s trying to stay sober
remembering that drinking doesn’t lead to good choices
and that if you stay sober, all you will ever do is miss
but never regret

it’s taking the risk to regret
because it would be more regretful to never know
backs against the wall
darkened hallways and loud music
drunken friends two blocks down
beginning to notice the disappearance of two people
who had unfinished business

it’s friends running blocks to you
pushing other drunks out of the way,
searching for you like missing children, asking everyone they can see
tapping people on shoulders, spilling drinks to stop
madness

finding two backs against the wall,
two bodies enclosed around each other,
one hand on a waist and one on the shoulder,
one set of eyes looking down and the other set of eyes
looking upwards, longingly,
like the first time they had looked at each other

and it’s seeing two bodies, who from a distance
could be mistaken for two people deeply in love
and yet when moving closer to them,
instead hearing descriptions of the other’s significant
praising their personalities but forgetting to mention how in love they are
with someone else
conveniently

it’s friends walking away,
mislead to assume nothing is occurring at all
because talking about the person one is dating is not
the way to unravel unfinished business,

is it?

it’s going home, replaying conversations in your head
wondering if you should have kept silent or
if you should have stated the obvious loudly
it’s falling asleep, alone, remembering what this was like years ago
and wondering,

is this unfinished business, or is this
how a person creates an idea of something in their head and yet,
when that idea comes to life,
it means nothing?
is it regret or disappointment?
is it unhappiness or lack of knowledge?
is it bad timing or bad assumptions?

or is it a continuous loop of unfinished business
until business is finished? TC mark

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