Everything Changed When You Loved Me

couple kissing in a field
Montse Monmo

i used to remove the love songs from spotify,

annoyed at the rhymes they sang and the melodies

that seemed commercialized

how could anyone possibly be that in love

and you seemed too good to be true,

like something was bound to fall apart,

we couldn’t possibly last

because good things don’t happen to broken people

and the words came from your lips,

like the melodies i had heard but never believed,

the ones i turned off, skipped, deleted when they played through my headphones

except i didn’t want to delete it when i heard it from you

i asked you to say it again, say it over and over and over

again

again

again

because all along i had been thinking it,

thinking maybe i was crazy for feeling that way

because no one can love someone that is broken

and when you said it for the fifth time,

everything i had once believed about love

was wrong

it was not like the melodies i had heard and the

stories people whispered on the streets

instead, it was orchestras humming in the evenings,

playful walks in the dark among ruins

drinking lates in bed

evening phone calls and being awoken early in the morning

making out on every street corner, making out at stoplights, making out in private at public events

unable to keep my hands to myself

it was fully understanding and caring, fully wanting to learn and to grow

fully wanting to give up aspects of life to make ways for the new

it was no longer caring about who else was interested or who else wanted to be with me

it was finding space and time and suddenly seeing a future where there was no future before

it was opening my mind to living together, having children together, getting wrinkled together

it was feeling whole

for the first time

discovering life for the first time

and everything that I had ever criticized about the music on spotify

was everything i ever wanted to listen to

and everything about my life changed when you told me you loved me TC mark

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