We live in a society that continuously has end goals for everything. We always think there has to be a path for where we are going. We tend to find ourselves wondering what is next instead of enjoying the moment.
Each time I meet someone new or even breathe a word about someone, it feels like everyone around me is asking when we are getting married. I could know someone for a day, and my family would already be wondering when the date is. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with getting married. Heck, I run a officiant business. I think marriage is great.
But why do we feel like all of our relationships need to be headed towards marriage?
I have friends who feel like they need to end their relationships if the other person doesn’t want to get married. I have friends that are specifically looking to get married, and they want to get married fast. I have met people who have baby talk always on their radar.
Why aren’t we just enjoying the time we spend with people, taking time to get to know them, rather then wondering if they are going to be the person we spend the rest of our lives with?
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that there is a certain procedure to follow. Things will happen when they happen. Maybe the relationship will end in marriage. Maybe it won’t. Maybe it will last one year. Maybe it will last five years.
Life is about experiences, not checking off certain criteria society has made for us that is considered a “well lived life.” People are placed in our lives to teach us, to help us grow, and to live life with us. We are meant to love many people and to love them fully. Some of us will love many people and some of us may only love a few. Whoever we choose to spend our time with, we should spend it in the moment, not spend it wondering if that moment is going to lead to marriage.
Don’t get me wrong, though. Staying with someone who doesn’t have the same views as you in general about life, such as marriage, is a terrible idea. That’s just going to end up in an argument. But just because someone isn’t ready to get married for a really, really long time isn’t a valid reason to not be with someone.
We all walk different paths. Take the time to get to know each other’s.
So take the time to get to know your significant other. Really get to know them. Take time to walk through various parts of their life with them. Take time to spend months or years, laughing at their jokes, crying at all of the mishaps that may occur, and supporting the decisions they make. Take time to get to know their friends and their family deeply. Take time to learn what you love and cherish about life, and share that with everyone you encounter.
Maybe your relationship will last a year. Maybe it will last five. Maybe it will end. All things in life must end at some point. And maybe it will lead to a marriage. Maybe that marriage will last forever and maybe it will also end. Life is different for everyone, so don’t feel like your relationships must be the same as everyone else’s.
I’m not really one to preach relationship advice, but if there’s anything that I’ve learned, it’s this: Don’t seek for something that doesn’t exist in someone. Let someone who carries what you seek find their way to you. The more time you spend searching for something that isn’t obtainable yet, the unhappier you will be.
You will know when the timing is right.