An Open Letter To The Boy Who Couldn’t Love Me

girl in sunlight
Adam Wilson

I remember when we first met. I spent so much time thinking that I had found “the one”. I had never felt so strongly for another person before and I was certain that we were going to make it. But, time went on and we weren’t built to last. For a long time, that reality cut deeper and deeper with each passing day. I was heartbroken and bitter.

I was certain that my heart would never heal and that I would never get another chance at love. I just couldn’t imagine feeling that way again or finding someone that would even take a chance on me. But, with the passing of time comes sharpened clarity. And, I’ve finally gotten to a point in my life that I can say thank you.

Thank you for showing me what I want out of a relationship and what I absolutely will not stand for.  When we were together, I had no idea what I was looking for or what a functional, healthy relationship should look like. I didn’t know what my deal-breakers would be and I didn’t realize how incompatible we would be in the long-term.

Thank you for showing me that sometimes relationships just don’t work out. Sometimes, no matter how much you want it or how hard you try, you just can’t make the wrong relationship into the right one. You can’t make a happily ever after for two people that were only supposed to play temporary roles in each other’s stories.

Thank you for showing me that my worth was never yours to decide. I was so invested in our relationship together that I never took the time to truly invest in myself. I was letting my self-worth be completely tied to another person when that was way too much responsibility to put on anyone else. I have learned how to be my own happiness while allowing other relationships to further enrich my life.

Thank you for showing me that every relationship can teach us something. I used to feel so bitter looking back and thinking about all the time, love, and energy I had invested in you. But, I wouldn’t be who I am now if I changed even one day of our time together. And, I am grateful for the experiences that turned me into who I am today.

Thank you for being a boy who couldn’t love me. Because you were never meant to be the man of my dreams. You led me to a man who was better suited to love and care for my heart. You led me to a man who looks at me like no one else ever has. You led me to a man who makes me better just by being around him and who appreciates who we are as a couple but also who we are as individuals.

So, truly: thank you. I have finally found the answers to so many questions that used to reside in my heart. And, it feels good to have finally made it here. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Liz Newman is a blogger and poet from the Midwest.

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