For The Girl Feeling Lost: It Won’t Always Hurt Like This

Jaelynn Castillo

Some days, she feels like a fraud.

She feels like her smile is too forced and her skin fits too tight. She feels like she’s never going to have what it takes to make something of herself.

Like her fear of failure is looming around every corner, as she hesitates at every crossroad.

This fear consumes her, and the doubt envelops her in a cloak of uncertainty. And she wonders: “How can I ever become the girl I envision myself to be?”

Some days, she feels discouraged.

She feels like all of her efforts are for nothing as she takes one step forward and four steps back.

As she scrambles for clarity in the midst of these life changes she can’t help but feel lost.

She stands, shaken and discouraged, as she claws her way to the surface to find she’s standing right back where she started.

Some days, she feels destined for stagnation.

She feels powerless to defeat the challenges that throw themselves at her feet.

But, then, some days, something changes.

Some days, she feels a calm amidst the chaos swirling around her circumstances.

She feels called to a path and determined to make it there no matter what it takes.

She feels the universe on her side, guiding her through the darkness, past dead ends and wrong turns. Guiding her to the life she’s always imagined.

Some days, she feels confident—not that she’s perfect, but that it doesn’t matter.

She feels her purpose in being honest about her scars so the world can fight their battles alongside her.

She feels a desire to connect with the other battered souls and to help them get past their obstacles so that she can share the beauty of the perspective she has been shown.

Some days, she feels weak.

Oh, but some days, she feels very strong.

And there will be moments where her frailty consumes her for a time.

But the pull of circumstance has but a temporary advantage over her soul.

Because if she’s learned anything in this life, it’s that it all starts with “some day.” She may only feel capable some days, but that is enough to begin.

And, she will grow and build off of those “some days” of strength until she has built a life that was founded on resilience and steady persistence. And then, those “some days” will become her “most days.”

Until she’s found that she finally made it. She made it to the other side of the pain, to her “someday” that she dreamed of in moments of hope and quiet reflection.

To the someday that she once felt was so far out of reach.

Because all it takes are a string of “some days” that she chooses to keep fighting, “some days” where she’s not defeated by discouragement, “some days” when she silences the voices in her head telling her that she wasn’t meant for this.

Some days, she feels comforted in the fact that someday, this will all feel okay.

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Liz Newman is a blogger and poet from the Midwest.

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