I am single. It’s a whole new world. Fresh out of a break up and ready to move on. The clichéd “emotional roller coaster” actually takes on a new, more relatable light. Ups and downs. You’ll go through it all on your way to finding someone new.
1. You will cry a lot. Tears are unexpected. One minute you will be going along normally with your day and then you will see an ad for a movie you promised each other you would see together before you broke up. And then the waterfall starts. Waves of emotion overcome you and you can’t stop it. In the first few days or weeks you are fragile. And you’re allowed to be. So cry until you can’t cry anymore.
2. You will miss them. Whether or not you were in love with them, this person was a significant part of your life for a period of time. You will miss not being able to text them, “Goodnight sweetie I love you <3 <3” every night. You will miss how their hand felt intertwined with yours. You will miss the smell of their cologne or perfume, the way they looked when they first wake up, the way they knew how you take your coffee.
3. Everything will remind you of them.
“This was our song” you choke out to your best friend in between tears. “I can’t go to that bar; what if he’s there?” “We used to watch this show every night before going to bed, I don’t think I like it as much without them.” You two made a lot of memories, so it’s hard to just forget about all of them.
1. More time with friends you may have not seen. Go out and get drinks with your coworker that you stopped hanging out with as a result of being busy with your relationship. Call your mom and tell her about your day. People care about you more than you will ever know, so get back out there. Have a girls’ night in. Eat a tub of ice cream.
2. More time to yourself. Something some people really don’t realize is how wonderful time alone is. Do you know how much I love not having to put on pants and leave the house? Take a long bubble bath. Watch that episode of Grey’s Anatomy that they wouldn’t watch with you. Paint. Write. Run. Do whatever it is that makes you happy.
3. People will let you be sad. It’s an emotional time for you. And people understand that and want to help. They’re your shoulder to cry on and it helps more than you think to talk it all out. Be fragile for a while and then one day you will realize that you are strong.
4. It makes you see what you do and don’t want.
Maybe they didn’t do the dishes. Maybe they weren’t good at making decisions. Maybe you were constantly bickering with each other. Maybe you didn’t like the way they were insecure. All of the red flags that you ignored during your relationship because of the love you felt are very clear now. You can admit to yourself the qualities that you don’t want in your next relationship. And it will be so much more clear what you do want.
5. You realize what else is out there for you. You deserve someone who will give you the world. Someone who will tell you that you’re beautiful and mean it. They’re out there, just be patient.