Just moments ago, I was talking to a dear friend of mine, then slowly; I realized and remembered so much. How I met you, and how we came to be now. But then I realized one aspect that I almost forgot about: your ego. It’s what uplifts you but makes you spiral downwards. I knew that this was going to hurt me later on, but I didn’t know it was coming fast for me. This is inanity and I’m driving myself to a deep road with a dead end.
You might be thinking, “What in the world are you saying?” What I’m trying to say is that I’m preparing myself for the inevitable. And that is, the pain you’ll give my heart that’ll break into many, many fragments. That friend I mentioned earlier asked me if I wanted to stay with you or not. To walk away is to take away the chance that maybe, maybe you’ll change for the better. You’ve been hurt many times and I know you use your ego as a way to protect yourself. But if that’ll only put you at a greater risk at becoming the person you’re not supposed to be, then that’s where I come in.
To stay means that there’s a chance that maybe I could help you change. Change into the person who’s no longer afraid of getting hurt the same way before; a person who can look at the world with a better perception. Heck, I don’t care if I’m not the girl you lust for, but if that love you have for me (together with my affections) would help you, then I’m going to risk myself getting hurt. As stupid as it sounds, I would.
It already hurts me because I know that you’re going to break this heart I closed so tightly, in a flicker. And it sucks because I could only try so much until I break. But if it means that I could help a person from despair, then I would. I completely would.
So yes, I’m giving you the privilege of breaking my heart. Congratulations, you won the jackpot and now all you have to do is crack it until it opens. Now I count the days until I no longer be the girl you want and then I’ll fall down once I tried. There’s no harm in trying, except it’ll harm me. Whether or not I’ll be able to change you, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for giving me the courage to do this. I would’ve have done this with, of course, without you. So cheers to the broken hearts that will be made. I know I’ll eventually be one of them.