Be Single But Don’t Let Single Lead You Into The Arms Of The Wrong Person

Tamara Bellis

I used to have this guy that I would call late when I was bored, or maybe after a few drinks, or maybe when I was just lacking some attention.

Nonetheless, we had this back and forth thing where we both did that…

We all have or have had someone like that, right?

Maybe an ex or someone who was always just there for you but you never really pursued a relationship.

That’s kind of how I was with this guy, we never dated but we had many drunken nights together, danced at the local bar everyone goes to, went to lunch together and hung out many of nights with our friends.

But we never had that title, you know, “boyfriend/girlfriend.”

We would each go on to see other people and each time it ended there we were, calling and texting each other again.

So, for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why we never really got “together.”

Now that I’ve gotten a few years under my belt, I’m not as naive as I once was and I don’t allow the bullshit that I used to, it kind of all makes sense.

He was too busy doing his “single” guy thing and hey, I can’t blame him.
He wasn’t ready to be exclusive, and that’s okay, that just means we weren’t meant to be.

But now, where I am at, I enjoy doing my own thing.

I’m single and enjoying every bit of it. Very few people are single and happy. We tend to get them confused with single and lonely. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been there. But all single and lonely does is lead you in the arms of someone/somewhere you don’t belong.

Sometimes I think a guy will see me as single and think, there’s a good one to hook up with. Nope. Not happening. Or what’s even better when I was talking to a guy and things didn’t work out with him and here comes his friend and let me tell you, I’m not lonely enough to sleep with you. But no seriously I have a rule, I don’t date or “hook up” with someone’s friends.

So if I already dated your friend, you’re off-limits to me.

I’ve never broken that rule and 28 years later, I am not about to start.

Because just like girls like to talk, guys do too and guess who doesn’t want to be the center of the conversation… ME!

The thing is that things didn’t work out with that person so stop going back. You’re not giving room for something great to come along. You could have the perfect thing standing right in front of you but because you keep “going back” you’re not letting what could be, be something great!

Some people are meant to come into your life but that doesn’t mean they’re meant to stay.

So here’s the thing…

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!

And by knowing what you want, I mean you really gotta know.

I’m not talking about if your friends will approve, or what your parents will think.

I’m talking about waiting until that person comes along that gives you butterflies.

The one that calls you on your shit.

The one that laughs uncontrollably until all hours of the morning.

The one that loves you and your family.

Don’t just settle for the one that is there, conveniently…. that’s boring. Wait until the one that scares you comes along.

All those feelings that you get when you’re with them, when you see them, when you think about them, when their picture pops up on your timeline…. that’s the one.

DON’T SETTLE.

So don’t let being single lead you into the arms of the wrong one. Be single. Embrace that shit. And everything will work itself out. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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