21 Men And Women Share Exactly How They Discovered Their SO Wasn’t ‘The One’

Sad girl in shadow
Xavier Sotomayor


“We were engaged and I got introduced at a party of work people as ‘her friend.'”



“When she insisted on having a fight, called her mom for support, and when her mom said it must’ve been something she did, she got pissed off and told me to go sleep in the park.

On my birthday.

I told her a week later I wanted to break up and she said ‘Umm… No. I don’t accept that.'”



“She didn’t want ‘the one,’ just ‘A one.’ and like, on a strict timeline.

She broke up with me as soon as I signed a 1-year lease on an apartment because that would mean we wouldn’t move in together for at least a year, and she has to be engaged by February of 2018 and that just won’t work out. She needs to be married by September of next year, and I just messed up her timetable. She was 20 years old, and we had been dating for three months.

Yea, I had no idea about her plans. So, good luck?”



“The realization was painful and gradual, mostly owing to his inability to have reasonable discussions, refusal to respect my perspective and nonstop grudge-holding, but the last straw for me was when he broke one of my possessions (thankfully something small/cheap) in a fit of rage. I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life with someone like that. Left soon after.

Also, I was scared of him. Never felt that way about a SO before.”



“When her physical therapist massaged her cervix with his penis.”



“When she came home drunk after a night out with friends claiming I wasn’t texting her enough even though a review of our text thread showed I responded to every text in a timely manner. Not a big deal by itself, but it was a straw that broke the camel’s back sort of situation.”



“My dad died in 2000 and a friend of mine brought over a tray of food to my family. We were friends, but not close enough to where we knew each other’s phone numbers or addresses. It was a complete surprise to see her. She just heard about it and looked for something to do to help. Months later, I realized it was something my girlfriend would never do.

I started dating the food tray girl about 15 months later and married her.”



“When she said that I was too selfish of a person. This is less a representation of who I am and more of who she is. She was a PhD student in Special Education and her goal was to travel to war torn countries and teach English to children with disabilities there. I design medical devices in an air conditioned office, so to her, I wasn’t willing to personally sacrifice enough to help others. She’s a wonderful person, but I realized that I could never live up to her standards of altruism.”



When he started listing off exactly what choices I would be making in life to best support him.”



“Well, I found texts in his phone telling a girl how much she meant to him and how beautiful she was. When I confronted him he told me she was a single mom with an abusive ex who needed encouragement. I let it go. Then i found out they had exchanged nudes and slept together just before we started dating. I put my foot down and told him either his relationship with me or with her. He kept talking to her and lied about it, even saw her in person and lied about it.

But the worst part is I didn’t bail for another 4 months.”



He slowly started making me doubt myself in very small ways. We all doubt ourselves sometimes, but when you start doubting even what outfit to put on in the morning because of some comments your S/O has made, time to move on.



“I was relieved when she canceled our plans together and realized I’d rather have an evening on my own.”



“The last nail in that coffin was when she threw a hissy fit like a two-year-old because she was thirsty and had to walk a little ways to get something to drink.

Never been quite that embarrassed before.”



When we could no longer hold a conversation.”



When his very sweet mother told me I should leave him and how much better I could do.”



“I was working at a car wash just to make ends meet with our rent in the apartment. Apparently, that wasn’t good enough for her dad and he dressed me down about it the first time I sat at their dinner table. She didn’t defend me at all and got angry when I defended myself to him.

So I bounced. Moved my shit out of the apartment on my day off while she was at work. Left my phone on the kitchen counter. It was on her plan anyway. I ghosted her hard.”



“I one day randomly snapped out of my depression, saw how shitty my life was with him. Broke off our engagement, moved back to my grandmother’s, committed myself to a psych ward 2 weeks later.

But there is much more of a back story to that last part.

But my ex is a man child, broke af, and has no control over his life because his life is controlled by his mother. I had him over to play MtG last week and he’s like you live in a shitty apartment. The only thing I could respond to him with that was ‘I’d like to see what you can afford on what you make, and at least I still don’t live with my mother.'”



“When I asked for help so many times and he failed to pick up the ball. It’s the little things ya know? I’ve worked 8 hours and then had to go to uni, you haven’t, least you could do is make dinner or do a load of washing…”



“When I had to schedule an appointment a month in advance to see him, he lived 5 minutes away.”



“When, on the morning of my wedding, I thought ‘imma need more wine to go through go with this.'”



“When I realized that I was lonely as his girlfriend because he just…didn’t care, wasn’t there. The best part of a relationship is to have that person who you open up to and have a mutual care for one another. You are there for each other and talk through things together, always putting the relationship first. Not in this relationship. whenever I was hurt or upset, I felt like he couldn’t care less. In fact, he would more likely distance himself from me when I needed him most. I was always lonely and disappointed waiting and hoping for more love, opennes, and affection when it just didn’t come. It was the hardest relationship to leave because we were so so so perfect for each other. I tried to give him everything but it just wasnt reciprocated. I had to always remind myself why i needed to let go and find someone better.

A few months after, I did :) he is there for me, he loves me, he cares for me and he doesn’t walk away when things become tough, he steps up to the plate and works through them because the relationship and our commitment to each other is important to him. Gosh, I love that man!”

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