14 Men Shared Exactly What Their Dream Wedding Would Be Like And It Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Tom Pumford





“I had my dream wedding. Just me and the wife on a scenic beach in Hawaii. No guests, no reception, just us, a photographer and the ceremony person. Cost us very little and we were already on a honeymoon vacation. Highly recommend this way.”



“Having done just this 3 years ago here goes…

We didn’t want to invite my wife’s sister and having recently been to a cousin’s overly extravagant wedding, didn’t like the cost that even a simple wedding has. Neither of us like too much attention and I couldn’t bear the thought of my own wedding, being the centre of attention, surrounded by family and friends.

We lived in the UK at the time but were planning to move to Canada. We discovered that in Canada you can get married wherever the hell you like (in the UK it has to be a church or registry office)

That fixed all of our problems.

We got married 3 years ago in the Rocky Mountains in Banff park. We didn’t invite any family or friends, just us, the registrar, planner and photographer (that’s 2 witnesses). We got married at 11am and went back to the hotel to change and were on a horseback tour by 12 noon.

We stayed in Alberta for 10 days, as our honeymoon. The whole thing including flights, food, nice accommodation, activities, etc was about £6000 in total.”



“I want an online marriage ‘Prime’ tool where both of us can put in our Amazon passwords and the judge will drive to my door, complete with a pen, a couple of rings, and witnesses, in 30 minutes or less.

And for $15 extra, a pizza and a 2-liter bottle of Coke.”



“Sign the papers at the courthouse, friends over for a house party, won’t spend much more than I would for a regular party but since it’s a celebration of our marriage I secretly hope guests will feel obligated to get us wedding gifts and I won’t discourage them from doing so (Will probably drop hints about that pasta maker I want). I might get a guy to pretend to perform a ceremony and rent an arch for the backyard so it looks like I invited guests to a wedding ceremony. Depending on how much that costs and whether it’s the same price to just get the officiant to come to the party.”



“I’m having my wedding August 25th. Were having 75 people at a semi-local venue. We’ve been planning for just over a year. We’ve planned everything, the guests, the non-guests, the color of the table cloths, the flavor of the cake, who sits where, who stands where, how everyone gets there, where everyone sleeps, what were eating, what we aren’t eating, what food allergies there are. what type of flowers we have, where the flowers are going to stay before the wedding, what type of music to play, whos the MC, who’s doing speeches, how the lights are hanging, what décor is going behind the head table, what décor is going on the head table, what the center pieces are being made of, the bridesmaids dress colors, the tuxedo colors, the tie colors, the cloth colors, the button colors

Right now, my dream wedding would be Me, My wife, My best man, Her maid of honor on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere with flip flops and a nice shirt.”



“There’s a pirate bar downtown that will have a pirate officiate your service (service=literally just standing at the bar and he says ‘Yar, do yee? And yee? Yo ho ho.”), sign your paperwork, and give bride and groom a shot of Jaeger for $15. I’ve been trying to convince my girlfriend for like 4 years that this is what we need to do.’



“Wedding. In. Space.”



“In the woods. Just me and her. We make our vows to each other and that’s it.

Then awesome outdoor sex.”



“I wanted to have my wedding at an arcade.

My parents didn’t want me to have my wedding at an arcade.

Guess what? I had my wedding at an arcade.”



“Never really thought about it until I got engaged. Now that we are planning it what we’ve decide upon is my dream wedding cause I got to build it together with the person I love in a way that matches us as a couple.”



“It’s in a parking lot. Everyone is in a sweet car, with a gap for the aisle. I’m in a McLaren 720S, the priest is in a Lincoln Town Car. The bride hauls ass up the aisle in a Lotus Elise. The bridesmaids are all in Toyota Priuses (Prii?) and the groomsmen are all in Ford F250’s. The best man delivers the ring in a Smart Pure because fuck that guy. The ceremony happens entirely in morse code via horn honking.”



“I want to see the person I love feel as though on that day they’re the most beautiful woman on the planet. Because that’s what she’d be every day in my eyes.

Just gotta meet her now!”



“My girlfriend and I joked that at our wedding, we’ll have a normal ceremony, but THEN during the reception, we’d wait for everyone to be seated and then cut the lights down to like 1/3, have some big guys bar the door and have the musicians play the Rains of Castermere. And have people appear on the balconies with nerf guns to shoot all the guests while we play recorded screams.”

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