1. That A Relationship That Ends Is A Failure
“Just because the relationship ended doesn’t mean it was a failure. Maybe you two just grew incompatible. Maybe one of you moved away and one or neither wanted a long distance relationship. Whatever the case may be, I feel like whenever a couple breaks up, people assume that something is wrong with one of the people in the relationship, or that the relationship was bad. These things do happen, but I don’t like to think that this applies to all ended relationships.
IMO, as long as both people were able to grow and are better people for having dated each other, it’s hardly a failure.”
2. That People Will Always Agree If They Really Love Each Other
“100% agreement and compatibility, all the time, no exceptions.
People are not like this. Relationships take work and compromise and if something is broken you should try to fix it instead of leaving.”
3. That Constant Contact Is Required Just Because It’s Possible
“Just because technology allows us to be in contact 24/7 doesn’t mean we have to text all day, every day.”
4. This Will Never Happen
“That I will help you curate your Instagram.”
5. That It Will Always Be New
“The idea that the honeymoon period will last forever and that it is the ideal relationship.”
6. That Sexual Expectations Are Shallow Or Unreasonable
“I’ve seen too many people saying you can’t have sexual expectations of your romantic partner.
My commitment to you is made with the expectation that you’ll sexually satisfy me, among many other expectations.”
7. The Notion That There’s Only One Way To Show Love
“Girls (especially on social media) love saying ‘if you don’t _____ for your girl, do you even love her?’
What it basically does is hold a guy in the position of being pressured into doing something, or being looked at differently because he doesn’t do that specified thing for his girlfriend. In order to really love a girl, some extravagant gesture is needed.”
8. That Relationships Only Look One Way
“I feel like movies and media teach people that relationships are just supposed to ‘work.’ Then at the first sign of trouble, you say this isn’t how relationships are supposed to be and leave instead of fixing the problem.
Every relationship is hard, but it’s when you put in the effort to communicate and fix superficial problems that they can thrive.”
9. Sharing Every Intimate Moment With Strangers
“It’s strange to me how public everyone is on social media about their relationships nowadays.
‘Sweet note? Flowers? Gift? Better take a pic and post it so everyone knows how in love we are. Oh, it’s your birthday? I must post a status about how much I love you so everyone knows!!’
Keeping things between the two of you and cherishing your privacy is a very undervalued gesture now.
There’s something about knowing it’s ours. That it’s almost like our little sweet secret. The tender moments. The romantic, serious conversations. The depth in how we feel about one another. Not everyone needs to know all that. Which, in my opinion, makes it all the more special.”
10. The Idea That Your S/O Will Never Find Anyone Else Attractive
“I don’t like the idea of ‘don’t look at anyone else.’ I think a lot of people are physically attractive, but I don’t consider it cheating.”
11. That Engagements Are About Money
“That women want expensive diamond engagement rings.
I don’t, especially not a diamond because it’s a rip-off. I’d rather invest that money in something else, like a house.”
12. That Marrying Creates A Relationship
“That marriage or any relationship title will magically make for a stronger, more meaningful relationship.
Mutuality, wanting the same things, and being able to talk about those things make for a meaningful relationship. Some meaningful relationships include titles while others do not (they all include conversations about exactly what the relationship is, but exactly what the relationship is may not fit with a traditional title).
Conversely, slapping a title on a bum, broken down relationship doesn’t suddenly make it meaningful. If I have a 3-wheeled pickup truck and I call it my ‘Lamborghini’ it will mostly just point out how unlike a real Lamborghini that truck is.”