“How you start to realize every conversation with them is pointless. Either every word that comes out of their mouth is a lie, or they have already made up a completely different conversation in their head.”
“I can’t stand the ‘you’re doing this to hurt me’ mentality. Although that’s mostly for narcissistic parents, I suppose.
One Christmas I was blamed for getting chicken pox, because I apparently got them on purpose to ruin my mom’s holiday.”
“They minimize their own mistakes and bad decisions and blow up every minor thing someone else does to them.
Oh and you can bet that someone else is always at fault for their actions.”
“I unfortunately have one as a roommate. I had to buy a lockbox because things would go missing inexplicably all the time (including my wallet). I found some of my stuff in his room, which is when I confronted him about it (denial) and made the decision to buy a lockbox. He lies about everything. I can’t have a conversation with him because he constantly interrupts everything I say and always changes the topic to himself and how great he is in some way. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never witnessed him do a single act of kindness where he didn’t expect something in return and use it as collateral later on. The list really goes on and on and on.
He doesn’t respect boundaries and is constantly doing more and more bad things to see what he can get away with. I have to firmly establish boundaries, and even then, it’s going to get tested again and again.
I can’t eat with him. He constantly talks with his mouth full, spitting food all over my food, and if I subtly try to cover my food or move it away, he notices and gets pissy about it. He’s a social media addict—he’s the type of guy who constantly posts selfies of himself wearing sunglasses indoors and shit like that, and he also ‘airs out dirty laundry’ on social media, calling out people publicly who he believes have wronged him in some way. Did I mention that he’s 30 years old? When someone asks what we do for a living, he immediately answers, making up a fake fancy-sounding title for his job (he’s a telemarketer) and then immediately answers for me, making it sound like my job is much more menial than it actually is. Call him out on the slightest thing, he starts screaming immediately.
He argues with everybody and has a horrible reputation with people. Every single person he has ever lived with cannot stand him. He can’t sustain relationships with people for longer than about 4 months. Every time he talks to his parents he yells at them. It’s unfortunate that I got roped into living with him for a year (only a couple months left thank God), but it’s a long story that involved him blatantly lying to me and me not being able to get out of it (I’m on a lease) without a shit load of trouble and opposition from him.
At this point, I definitely feel resentment towards him but I also feel bad for him. He’s lost all of his friends that have known him longer than 2 years (I’m the only one left), but it’s because he does something horrible to them, like stealing from them (talking more than $100-200 worth of stuff) completely unprovoked and with no remorse on his part. On top of that, he often steals from people less fortunate than him who need whatever it is he is stealing more than he does. I know that he’s like this because of his upbringing (wealthy family and a spoiled childhood but at the same time not given enough actual affection from his parents and is the younger brother of a much more well-adjusted, successful and well-liked guy—who is not a narcissist).
I know that deep down, all of this behavior secretly stems from an incredibly low self-esteem. I can’t fix him though, and I teeter between feeling sorry for him and just thinking that he’s a total piece of shit. When I am able, I’m just going to cut contact from him like almost everyone else who’s known him more than a couple years has.”
“When they post videos or pictures of them helping homeless people or doing charity… we should all strive to help the homeless and less fortunate, but not fucking make an Instagram video about it.”
“How they’re impossible to compromise with or get to see your point of view, even when your POV is literally factual.”
“How they can literally make ever single situation about them.”
“How they can become president.”
“The way they seem to ask questions about topics outside themselves, then show anxiety and impatience in any answer that doesn’t address themselves or their world view, or offer and easy way to turn the conversation to those concerns.”
“That they have a limited emotional range and think that the only two ways to regard something are to love it or hate it. It’s like Tinder-brain.
The human psyche is an ocean, not a mud puddle. Explore it.”
“I used to deal with these types of people in the past.
Of the many, many traits of people with NPD, I think my least favorite is how they tend to massively overrate their own abilities at reading other people. The result is often that they assume the worst in your intentions, and it is difficult to sway their opinion.
For example, I was once tasked by someone to find businesses to hang flyers for an event. But, I was assigned an area of my city that is fairly corporate-dominated, so family owned businesses that can do stuff like this are few and far between. But of course to her, the reason why I was taking so long was obviously because I was ‘taking several breaks to get food.’
Did I mention that I had volunteered to do this? (With my own gas money, no less). So basically, fuck that teacher. (I have many, many more examples, but this is the most direct one).”
“Most of the time, they are never fucking wrong. And even when they are wrong, you cannot prove them to be wrong no matter how hard you try. It is a complete waste of your time.
Had this experience with my ex-boyfriend’s mother. She was always like this, and it was infuriating.”
“Ugh. The only person allowed to have feelings is them. No one else. You’re sad? Don’t you see how you being sad affects me? Don’t you care that you’re upsetting me? Oh, you’re happy? Well, it must be because of something I did, so you’re welcome.”