I told a girl that “I never had a good blowjob before” and 25 minutes later, she was giving it with gusto.
Was crashing on the couch of a mate of mine for a week. His roommate was out clubbing, it was her birthday. As she walked in and asked me who I was, I told her I was her birthday-present from Ethan. I slept in her bed for the remainder of the week.
Pushed a girl into a trash bin in a mix of playfulness and petty spite (she was being incredibly annoying at the time).
She feigned disgust for about two minutes until her friends left the room and then she just… pounced on me and put her tongue in my facehole. I was simultaneously disappointed with myself, conflicted, and completely amused by the backwardness of the whole situation… and then I was horny and that’s all that mattered.
Was camping and it had been raining, I started a fire and everyone was around it chilling as it got dark. The girl was sitting in a camping chair legs spread like an eagle with jean cutoffs on. Didn’t know her really, a friend of a friend we were camping with and I didn’t mind at all, but something in my head made me just blurt out “Close your damn legs why don’t ya!”. She did and was somewhat taken back by my loud blatant request in front of everyone.
By the end the night she was all over me, making out. Later in the tent her legs were spread again.
I guess I didn’t do this with the explicit intention of getting laid but I wore a bright T shirt with the slogan “BOOBIES MAKE ME SMILE” printed across it to a club one night. I thought ‘why not’? Well it got me a lot of attention and…yeh…got laid.
Pointed at my lap. Didn’t know her. It worked. I felt like a boss.
Acted like this girl’s boyfriend so a guy trying to bang her would get away…..ended up banging her same night.
After some country concert I was in the parking lot waiting for it to clear out. Being hammered I thought It’d be a good idea to stand on the cooler and keep drinking while I yelled random “compliments” at women. After telling this chick her tits would look good bouncing off my face she got out and gave me her number and told me she’d be at my place if I wanted. She came over banged me and split before I woke the next morning. Ahh being used was wonderful. Also I promise this isn’t made up.
Turned to her and said “can we do this already?” She said “I thought you’d never ask”.
I walked up to her and said “we need to have intercourse immediately.”
I wanted to use that line because if I got hit with a negative reactions I could say “woah woah! I just meant conversation!” Then show the definition of intercourse.
But I didn’t get a negative reaction…. I got laid.
I’m black and I usually say (whatever race she is) don’t go for guys like me even though I find them beautiful. Normally along the lines of they say “Oh no that’s not true, some girls are just racist like that” then I would say oh I’ve wanted to experience (what race she is) girl.
You know those guys on dating sites who just post a picture of their dick without filling out any of the info? Yeah, that actually works – really, really well. I got over 15 replies in under 12 hours.
I ended up having to get checked for syphilis after hooking up with this one girl who responded.
I got married. I used to be Mormon, so at the time it was the only solution.