“I kind of just go blank and let her do her thing until she cums and then I actually pay attention to what’s happening and finish nearly instantly.”
“Brain while waiting for her to finish: white noise, focus, I wonder what the Mediterranean Sea is like?
Brain after you’ve decided to finish yourself: holy shit my penis is in a vag-hnnngh alright I’m done!”
“How can I make this good for her. Right, so if I put all my weight on this knee and elbow I can use both of my hands and keep thrusting decently well. Alright, she hasn’t made any kind of gesture that she’s dissatisfied, so I’ll– ok, nope, that’s cramping the leg I’m leaning on. If I pull her back a bit I can put my leg on the ground for support… Much better.
Alright, thrust a bit harder for a bit, that movement will have put her off. Good, good, she’s back into it. Now grab her boob with this hand… and work the back of the ears with the other. You stopped grabbing the boob you idiot, why can’t you do 3 things at once? No! Don’t go straight for the nipple, that’s obvious, work around it for a bit. Holy crap she just got louder, I’m totally getting it right. Alright keep it up— she’s done? Wow, that was easy. Wonder how much cuddling before I can go back to— she’s asleep. I’ma marry this one.”
“I wonder if cats ever get jealous of our ability to use supermarkets.”
“Sometimes movie scenes and music I like play in my head. I try to avoid thinking about it because it feels like it taints what I like.
Just the other day The Godfather Baptism scene was playing in loop in my head, and I unwillingly came to that.”
“It depends on the person. I’m either thinking about how great it is that I’m finally fucking them, or I’m thinking about how great it would be if I were fucking someone else.”
“So Ryan Howard is hitting about .150 this year and making 25 million. He’s probably had about 200 at bats so far so that’s 30 hits. He’ll probably have 100 or 150 more at bats so he’ll have at most 50 hits this year so he’s making 500k per hit. Ridiculous, he should be ashamed of himself and oooohhh BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE.”
“What excuse I will use to be able to go right home after.”
“The Pokérap and how much of it I can remember.
Charizard, Machamp, Pinsir, Koffing Dugtrio, Golbat, Staryu, Magikarp Ninetales, Ekans, Omastar Scyther, Tentacool, Dragonair, MagmOh crap…”
“I wonder what Rihanna’s face would look like if I was doing this to her.”
“Should I lick her ass or not?” This usually happens while in the doggie position.
“My Student Loan Debt.”
“Let’s try this position and speed to make her come”
“This is incredible!”
“Ok, that’s making me come, let’s try a new position to make her come.”
“Usually just paying attention to what’s happening…but if I’m trying to make myself last longer I start mentally picturing a game of Tetris and trying to keep track of the shapes adding up in my head. It’s just enough to distract me from finishing quicker than I would like to.”
“I dont enjoy sex all that much but…
If I like her alot: Mother of god please get hard enough to get sex going, Ok good lets go, I feel like Im getting close so position change to buy more time, repeat, plan the rest of my day after the sex, getting close again so I better change position, Getting tired now so maybe iv been at this a decent time, If so move to favorite position and cum straight away, Lie down and evaluate the relationship with a clear head.
If Im not too into her: Why am I doing this? Ah well, I suppose I can go as hard as I want because Im not worrying about lasting a long time. Cum. Let feelings of empty meaningless sex wash over me and feel bad the rest of the night.
Well that came out a lot darker than I thought…”