1. The Relationship Moved Fast
I was dating a guy we’ll call M. Our relationship moved fast, but we were serious – exchanging “I love yous,” living together, very close to each others’ families, etc.
One day while he was getting tattooed, he left his phone with me behind the counter, and I saw some pretty ridiculously inappropriate messages popping up on the screen.
I confronted him on it right then and there. He denied anything was happening despite the lewdness of what I had seen, and actually cried, trying to convince me to stay. I called his step-dad to come pick me up (they lived closest, I had rode with M, etc) and this motherfucker sat and got the tattoo finished even though the artist told him repeatedly that it was a good stopping point.
I was moving my things out of the house day by day, but had not officially broken things off with him yet. Cheating has always been my one non-negotiable condition, but he was excellent at talking me stupid.
While moving, I basically found the evidence that he was seeing no less than 2 other girls on the side. Fueled by this discovery, I went through his facebook account and confirmed it. The count was at 3. I was devastated and numb all at once, and quietly finished packing to leave that night.
I was planning to break up with him the very next day (he was working a night shift) but there was one problem. I had agreed to be part of a family photoshoot for his twin nieces’ first birthday – at this point I was sick to my stomach about it all, and had told his mom and sister everything. They were at a loss for words, but we all still loved each other, and they begged me to participate in the photoshoot anyway.
Fast-forward to the photoshoot; this motherfucker had set the whole shoot up under false pretenses. It was a secret proposal that his entire family was in on. After breaking down in tears in front of his mother and sister just days before, with irrefutable evidence of his infidelity, those two still let this shit continue to happen under my nose.
So, with all of us dressed up in matching color-coordinated outfits, with an absolutely breathtaking background, I lost my shit on video and high-res photo and verbally tore him to pieces. I slapped the engagement ring out of his hands and into the pond and basically went full hurricane-bitch mode.
Not proud of my reaction to this day, nor am I proud of my beta-ness throughout the whole encounter. I should have lost my shit well in advance to that proposal incident, and maybe I would have saved us all some embarassment.
Fun fact on how much of a pussy I once was: I proceeded to go with him and his mom and sister to Red Lobster after the whole fiasco. I don’t like seafood and I hated all of them at this point. We all pretended everything was normal. When we were done, I basically got in my car and disappeared into the sunset; changed my number, email addresses, everything. Signed up for a working-abroad program and left for Europe about three months later.
Craziest shit that’s happened to me yet.
2. Vengeance Served Cold
My now ex-boyfriend proposed to me at my nephews birthday party, which was at a park with all of my immediate and distant family members, as well as a bunch of families that came for my nephew. He called everyone’s attention and proposed to me right before presents, super dramatic with everyone staring. At that point in our relationship I pretty much hated him and was going to leave him within the few weeks anyway. And I told him exactly why I was leaving him (lots of reasons but mostly cheating) in the middle of the circle of my family. My uncle clapped when I was finished. Haven’t spoke to him since.
Let me add some details about our relationship. At no point did I lead him on towards the end of our relationship. We were together for almost four years and the whole four years he harassed me about having a baby (I was only 16 when we got together, him 18), constantly dismissed me emotionally but got upset when I would tell him he was overreacting for something simple or obvious. For example, I was crying because my 17 year old cat died, and he told me to “get over it” because he was just a disgusting cat. Meanwhile, he throws a plate at me because I told him the neighbor asking for a cigarette didn’t warrant screaming. He liked to isolate me and constantly demanded my attention. When I was working nights, (10 – 7am) he would wake me up around 10:30-11:00 AM pissed off that I wasn’t spending time with him, then play games and ignore me. He would stalk me at work (I used to work with a bunch of men) and ask me inappropriate questions about them when I got home.
I was never quiet about this. I called him out on all of it, but being one chip short of a full chocolate chip cookie, he figured I was just “in a bad mood” and I would get over it. He would like to tell me it was cute when I was angry and that my comments were just me being “sassy” or some stupid shit. Literally two weeks before the party I told him I couldn’t stand his face and that he might as well start looking because i’m kicking him out when his taxes come back. He told me to take a fucking midol…
So yeah, fuck his feelings.