16. The Drunk Proposal
Not me, but my friend:
She’d just gotten out of a long-term relationship and had been dating a new military guy for maaaybe two months. The entirety of our friend group was certain he wasn’t going to last — he didn’t seem to get along with any of us, and even she just seemed like she was dating somebody random to get over her ex. There was no indication on either of their parts that they were serious about each other. They didn’t even seem to enjoy each other’s company.
Over Christmas break, she was turning 21. The guy went to visit her in her hometown to help her celebrate. She goes out to the bar with a big group of people, and he hangs off to the side all night while she gets drunk and dances. Until, sometime around 1 am, he jumps up, goes to her in the middle of the loud dance floor, and says “Will you marry me?” She is a) drunk, b) shocked, and c) drunk, so she says, “What? Okay…” and he returns to the side of the bar and continues to not interact with her or anyone else. She puts it out of her mind as bizarre and keeps dancing.
The next day, they had planned for her to drive him to the train station about an hour away so he could return to his home. On the drive she tells him that she really isn’t going to marry him, and she frankly has no idea why he thought she would say yes, or why he did it when she was trashed on her 21st birthday.
He sobbed for a straight 45 minutes of the drive, and none of us ever heard from him again.
17. Love By The Numbers
I turned down a very unromantic proposal once.
A friend of mine was having woman troubles, I was recently separated from an abusive ex. My friend proposed that we get married, live together as friends for a few years with the benefit of marriage, and eventually begin having sex to produce a family.
He said it was the most logical solution to our problems as we were both emotionally damaged and not fit for real relationships.