The following are recommendations that may aid understanding of disconnection and ongoing disappointments within your relationship. This is revealed by shining light on internal affairs and distorted perceptions of how a partnership should function reveals this. I derived these components from my personal experiences and observation of relational successes. The sharing of this information may revive your relationship by replacing faulty habits with healthier and more proactive practices.
Every relationship possess their unique way of functioning. As such, your push of inserting functions exercised in your friend’s relationship may arise hazardous results if upheld within your own. Yes, it is beneficial to observe differing approaches of handling matters or communicating; yet make it your own. Create effective ways of resolving and communicating concerns that tailors to you and your partner’s persona rather than ruminating on outside sources. Plus, you rarely witness the true dynamics of a relationship anyhow.
2. Speak Up
This step is intertwined with communication. Exercise your voice and express your wants and concerns. Notice I did not mention needs. Your needs are only given by you. If you want it, ask. If you are angry, vent. If you are hurt, release your anguish. If you are…well, I am sure you can predict the pattern. Your fear of offending your partner or speaking your truth is simply halting the pace of the relationship as your emotional repression is preventing you from placing your best foot forward. Releasing your feelings can be freeing. Once you release of your deepened emotions you are guaranteed to feel a sense of empowerment as you have finally unlocked your voice. With further practice, you will soon detach from fear and unite with your inner whisper. Lastly, speak with conviction. This comes with belief in your words.
3. Relinquish Pride
Do not wait, call first. Initiate an apology. Admit your faults. Enough said.
Placing expectations onto your partner may encourage or reinforce wanted behavior; though the placement of high standards onto another imperfect being is risky and may elicit consequences. For instance, if your partner fails to meet your beliefs, you may experience disappointments and lessened feelings. Once expectations are dissolved, you will become liberated of most disappointments and less pressure is placed upon your mate. Difficult I know, but once you acknowledge your mate is imperfect, you will divorce high/unrealistic expectations and accept his shortcomings. Eventually, you will expect mere enjoyment and connection with you partner.
5. Stay In-Sync
Remain in-tune with each other’s interest, crafts and passions. The occasional, “we fell out of love” is often due to both persons driving opposite directions. This event enables a lost of connection that remains unrealized for lengthy periods. Attempt to refuel this lost by driving on the same paths. You may practice this by consuming partial time engaging in your partner’s interest and transferring it into a “weekly togetherness activity” — a title less corny will also do the trick.
Whether it be hiking, meditating, cooking, reading a novel together, or simply joining him while watching his favorite TV show. The continuous “togetherness” will become a glue that binds you two together and toughens to outweigh adversities that may threaten your relationship.
6. Love Yourself
It is vital you affirm your own value before the appraising of your partner. If reversed, you may unconsciously project your insecurities upon him. Your incessant hunger for compliments or questioning and denying his love may signify the starvation of your internal world. Feed yourself attention and adoration; therefore his compliments come subservient to your inner validation.
Relinquish expectations. Love yourself. Dissolve pride. Speak Up. Focus on YOUR relationship. Practice oneness. And detach from the destination by simply enjoying your relational experience.