1. Taking the passenger seat instead of being the driver of my life.
It’s really easy to get into a routine with ours job and daily habits without examining why we’re doing what we’re doing. I started working with a coach this year who helped me figure out what my heart beats for. Now I’m taking steps to make my life what I want it to be instead of staying trapped in a place that didn’t work for me.
2. Staying addicted to toxic people and routines.
Just because it used to make you happy doesn’t mean you should hold onto it forever. We can’t fix something that’s broken beyond repair. The most painful truth I’ve had to accept this year was that some people only come into our lives to be an example of what to avoid.
3. Not leaving my job sooner.
I hated almost everything about the job I’d been at for three years. My ideal life didn’t include anything I’d been doing at this job, aside from making friends and socializing, which I probably did too much – oops. If what you’re doing isn’t what you love, or at least a step towards doing what you love, get the hell out!
4. Comparing myself to others.
I’m 25. I don’t have it all figured out. But that’s the point of life – I get to live this beautiful adventure that I create every day. I don’t need to be on anyone else’s timeline of “success” because I am not other people.
5. Trying to fix people.
All we can do is love the people around us and support them. We can always be respectfully honest with our friends when we are concerned for them but we need to let go of feeling responsible for turning someone else’s life around.
6. Holding in tears that need to be let out.
I’m a crybaby. I can be sensitive and emotional and that’s okay. What isn’t okay is trying to mask, ignore, or will away my feelings because they always pile up in a major way. Holding in your sadness until you absolutely break down is not healthy! Take it from the girl who has broken down sobbing in the pretzel aisle at Harris Teeter. Don’t wait until you get to that point. Let yourself break down so you can rebuild.
7. Letting pride, anger, and resentment have a seat at the table.
At times it’s difficult to let the compassionate spirit of your inner child forgive someone, especially when you’ve struggled with standing up for yourself in the past. Someone harmed you, so you need to defend yourself. You can’t let them walk all over you! You want to show them who’s boss. You might overdo it and respond spitefully. Don’t. There are many wonderful things we should hold onto in life; our egos are not one.
8. Not planning ahead.
I tend to be a fly by the seat of my pants type of person who prefers to go with the flow. That being said, when my life lacks structure, I’m not productive with my free time. When I map out weekly goals for different aspects of my life (exercise/wellness, self-care, relationships, job/money, etc), I accomplish a lot more. Making lists of things I absolutely need to do each day has helped a lot too!
9. Not being honest with myself about my feelings in my relationships.
I stayed friends with my ex after breaking up, which ultimately just extended the grief of our breakup and put me in a pretty dark place. It’s awful, confusing, and heart-wrenching to be “just friends” with someone when you want more. Hint: sticking around hoping they’ll change their mind doesn’t work.
10. Using self-deprecating humor.
Why is it so hard to accept a compliment instead of deflecting it with subtle self-sabotage??? I’m still trying to figure this one out. All I know is that when I make too many jokes at my own expense, the jokes don’t seem like jokes anymore. And that sucks for my self-esteem.
11. Texting and driving.
Ugh, I know. Don’t tell my mom.
12. Not having a budget.
It’s weird how paychecks seem so massive until we remember that rent, groceries, and happy hour exist. I’m all for living it up, but sometimes it gets too easy to drop $40 on a meal. That shit adds up quickly!! I use Mint now to help me track my spending and financial goals and now I feel like a way more legitimate adult.
13. Being too shy to initiate plans with someone I’ve just met.
This goes for platonic situations too! A girl at the gym struck up a conversation with me one day that lasted about 30 minutes. She was so positive and had the greatest attitude on life. I wish I had asked for her number so we could’ve connected again over lunch or happy hour and become friends. Ciara from Planet Fitness, if you’re reading this, hit me up!
14. Feeling like I wasn’t enough.
My coach taught me about the concept of being NCRW, meaning Naturally Resourceful, Creative, and Whole. Our true selves are NCRW. We have all of the answers, courage, and wisdom we’re looking for contained inside of us. We are whole. We are enough.
15. Worrying what my friends, family, and peers think.
Your life is yours and yours alone to live. Listen to the little voice in your heart and let it guide you. Exercise your risk-taking muscles and run towards your dreams. You’ve got this!
Now let’s go make 2018 our bitch.