If You Want Your Relationship To Last, You Need To Love Yourself First

woman sitting and looking wistful
Hai Phung

In the past, if you have found yourself in a relationship that did not work out, one of the main reasons could have been tied to the fact thatย you just were not ready yet.ย And on the latter, the other person may not have been ready yet either. Either one of you were not ready to love someone else because self love was not there first.

Self-love before intimate love is the key to making a relationship work.

Self-love is not referring to being “in love” with yourself to the point where you are vain. It means knowing how to take care of yourself, knowing who you are and what you need, and being confident in who you are as a person. It means that you don’t need to depend on someone else in order to attain your own happiness.

Often times, when we are in pursuit of another person, we think that finding “the one” will help make all of our problems magically disappear. We think that they will be the person to fix us up and make our lives instantly better. To an extent, they do. They very well may contribute to making you happier than you were before, but over time, you’ll eventually realize that you can’t lean on one person to make you strong. You need to be strong on your own.

Before you love someone else, you must love yourself first.ย 

If you are feeling lost in life, then don’t don’t go searching for another person to fill that void. Find yourself first. You cannot find yourself through another person, you can only lose yourself in another person. And you cannot use someone else as a means of distraction. Your problems will eventually catch up to you.

A huge part of growing up is getting to know yourself before you get to know another person. This is often why young love dies so quickly. You fall in love with someone, then realize there’s so still so much more to figure out. At such a young age, it’s hard to know who you are and what you really want out of life. And on the path to finding ourselves, we lose people we once loved. Only when we learn how to love ourselves first, can we be ready to love another.

Related

More From Thought Catalog

blog comments powered by Disqus