When it comes to past relationships, I spent of a lot time feeling as if I were the one doing more work than the other person. Then, when it all came crashing down and ultimately came to an end, I’d be stuck wondering where all of my wasted efforts went.
That was up until the relationship that I am currently in, when I finally realized that I didn’t need to try so hard because when you find the right person, it just comes naturally.
I have dated my fair share of people who were very wrong for me. I tried to fit pieces into shapes where they did not belong. I spent a lot of time being someone who I was not and over-overcompensating for the fact that I knew it wasn’t right in the first place.
You see, when you are with someone that you know is not right for you, it will be very hard. Don’t get me wrong, relationships do in fact require a lot of work, but if it’s right, it will not be difficult. It will not feel as if you are forcing something and you will not feel as if you are doing more work than the other person. And that’s because the other person will also be sharing the work with you, and gladly too. That’s what makes for a strong relationship, when both people are in it together.
Being with the wrong person means that you are in constant fear of them leaving you. It means that you are anxious and on the edge of your seat at all times. And please do not mistake these feelings of fear or anxiety for excitement or passion.
Being with the wrong person means constantly questioning them and questioning the whole relationship. It means having to always convince others that it will work. It means having to always convince yourself that it will work.
The thing is, you shouldn’t have to do any convincing to other people.
More importantly, you shouldn’t have to do any convincing to yourself. You just trust that it will work and it will. You will just know.
And when you know, there is no need for convincing. Once that happens, it is truly an incredible feeling.