When You Think About The Girl Your Ex Is Currently Seeing

Jeremy Pawlowski
Jeremy Pawlowski

You don’t care, not really. He was an asshole and you know you deserve better. You remember all of the awful things that he did to you, but then you remember all of the good parts that made the bad feel worth it. You know your relationship was toxic and that you were lucky to get out when you did.

Then you think about her. Does he treat her the same way he treated you? Or did he learn from the mistakes he made with you and treat her like a princess? What could she possibly see in him? You no longer find him attractive.

You deleted him on Facebook, but your sister told you that he was engaged so you proceed to stalk him. Oh god, he posted the video of their engagement. It was awful. That makes you feel a little better. It was awkward, and not romantic at all. He didn’t give a beautiful speech about how in love with her he is or how much she means to him. All he said was, “Will you marry me?” and “Shove it on there!” Gag. You text all of your best friends to watch the video so you can tear it to pieces. None of them care. You broke up with him three years ago. None of your new friends even know who he is.

You get sad. Why does he get to be happy with someone else while you are still single, still lost, still alone? He told you that he would never love anyone as much as he loved you. How much does he love her?

Come to think of it, just a few months ago he was texting you saying how you were his most serious and romantic relationship and that he was still infatuated with you. He said he even told his girlfriend that. How does that make her feel? Does she feel like she is standing in the shadow of me, a mystery woman that she has never met, trying to prove that she is better than me, prettier than me, more successful than me? I feel bad for her.

Does he still think about me? Does he still wish that she was me? She is beautiful. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he does love her more than he loved you. Maybe he’s grown up since his idiotic, drunken college days. Maybe he isn’t an asshole anymore. Maybe he isn’t abusive. Maybe he is no longer an ignorant racist homophobe. Or maybe he is. Maybe he just got really good at hiding it.

You don’t care, not really. You’re just sad because it seems like everyone is figuring their lives out except you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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