Maybe We Were Never Meant To Work Out, But I Think I Still Love You

thought.is
thought.is

The one that got away, the one who has it all, the one I loved the most, the one who embodies every person I have loved, and the one I would always have a soft spot for. A part of me felt that we were meant to see each other that night and before I realize what I thought my eyes could only see, I felt something right away and you also felt the same.

Maybe time wasn’t really an excuse for the both of us. Maybe no matter how much I was suddenly willing to do those things that I thought would be a waste of time; things wouldn’t work the way I’d want simply because you were not the right person for me. For a period of time I thought that maybe you were the right person and maybe someday there will be a right time for us. But I realize that time isn’t an excuse to ignore that we’re not right for each other. And it made me believe that if you met the right person then it will always be the right time.

You were composed of everything that I have always wanted. And nothing can ever make me deny that you are one of the best things that have ever happened to me. You made me feel wanted and special. It’s not every day that I will meet a guy who can treat a girl the way you would treat me. You were an answer to my longing and a question to my mind. You interrogate my feelings as well as my heart. As much as I wanted to give my heart to you, I know better not to. And breaking what we thought we could have is best way for us. And settling to be nothing more than friends would be enough.

There are memories that will always make me nostalgic. Those times where you would always call me and ask me how my day went. Those quirky messages I would receive from you to tell me to be careful or to ask where I was. The way you would hold me and tell me how much you cared for me. Those conversations we had at night while while holding each other’s hands as you walk me home.

Those are the memories memories that carved my heart, and those that I will always treasure.

You made me believe that it is not impossible for a boy to love a girl, regardless of what she looks on the outside. That someone out there would love me for who and what I am as a person. Someone who fell in love with what I truly am and not what I could offer. Despite of my past, you accepted every part of me, flaws and all, and you accepted me as a whole person.

“In another life I would be your girl. We’d keep all our promises, be us against the world.”

We weren’t really together, nothing official happened between us. But I know that what we had is real; I felt your presence as you felt mine.

“In another life I would make you stay.”

I know that you also fell in love with me the way I did.

A part of me always felt that we might not end up holding each other’s hand. But I did not expect that I could lose something that I have always wanted that quickly. It was too fast; I didn’t see what was coming. When we ended what could’ve also been better for us, I realized that I love you.

No matter how hurt I am, I couldn’t help but to still admire you from afar. I have already decided what I want for myself. And you were a threat to my decisions and beliefs. I suddenly want a future with you. I want something to last, something permanent. And I know that it won’t be good for me. But I have to thank you because you made me realize that I could be more than enough for a person. That someone out there could love me the way I’ve always wanted, the way I deserve.

This decision was the right thing for the both of us perhaps in every aspect, but I will always have a soft spot for you. Regardless of any circumstances, no matter where we are or who we are with, I would always love you. And whatever is destined between us you’ll always be special to me. TC mark

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