To My Darkest Days

Hi.

I normally would not be as vocal about this,

But we need to talk.

To my dark days,

You are the days that carry my dread, my worries, my fears, and occasionally tears;

You are the days where my stress rises to levels which drives me to blank out.

You are the days where I have such a rush of thoughts that I can barely choose to focus on just one,

You are the days where I have my realizations steamroll through me over how I sometimes can be a barrier to my own growth.

You are the days that allow my emotions to overwhelm me in over my head,

You are the days where I doubt my own capability to speak because I become a fumbling mess of forgotten words.

You are the days where I question everything and everyone,

You are the days where I am unable to get out of bed, laying in my old clothes, staring up at a spot on the ceiling;

You are the days where I am unable to fully concentrate because my mind is running, but not functioning.

To my dark days,

You are not the greatest of company.

You are not the days people dare to speak openly about,

Instead, you are the days that no one will ever feature on their social media platforms;

Because you are the days that require us all to lay down our pride.

To my dark days,

Despite all this, you are also the days where I am forced to take a good look at who I am as a person.

You are the days where I am given a wake-up call, truly making me question if I am happy with my progress and where I am;

You are the days which also motivate me to want to get out of my thoughts, not for others but for me.

You are the days which allows me to determine who the ‘real’ people in my life are, those who really do care. You teach me to appreciate them more.

You are the days that make me draw closer to my faith.

You are the days where I take a well-needed mental vacation,

And despite my isolation to cope, I am not lonely.

To my dark days,

You are the days where I wished I could say never existed;

But you are also the very days that leads to a heightened compassion for the people in my life.

The very days that inspire me to be a light,

The very days that inspire me to be love;

You are the very days that reminds me of how every little moment, no matter how fleeting, is precious.

To my dark days,

I know that these days are never really a ‘one-time’ occurrence because we will rise and fall more times than we can count.

But I am writing this as a reminder,

That despite the depths I find myself going under,

I am grateful that you’ve taught me lessons different from my good days.

To my dark days,

I am proclaiming that I no longer want to be chained and beaten down by your presence;

But I am starting to accept and understand what I can do when you arrive.